Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life

by Emily Nagoski

turning off the offs This worksheet is designed to help you create a practical plan for turning off the offs. The research suggests it’s most effective when you repeat the four steps each day, but you can try doing it weekly, and even going through the exercise once would be great. Step 1: Review your Sexy and Not-So-Sexy Contexts worksheets from chapter 3, where you identified the contexts that hit your brakes and activate your accelerator. Write a summary here: Brakes Accelerator Step 2: All these brakes-hitting and accelerating-hitting contexts are your potential targets for change. Choose one that you could change if you decided to try turning off the offs. List five things you and/or your partner could take to implement this strategy. Hint: The more concrete and specific you are, the more useful this will be. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Step 3: Anticipate barriers. What obstacles might you encounter? Where and when—specifically—will this obstacle occur? What could you do to prevent these obstacles? What—specifically—will you do to get back to the goal if you face these obstacles? Step 4: Think about what it would feel like to be a warm and erotic woman who is curious and playful about sex. What is it like? What else is true? Some questions to consider: • What strategies would you use to create more time for sex? • What would give you more energy for sex? • What aspects of your relationship would enhance sex? • What challenges in your relationship would you li...