Trail of Broken Wings

by Sejal Badani

Unpredictable abuse leaves psychological scars that last long after the physical ones.

When an adult has been abused as a child, he or she lives life always expecting the other shoe to drop. That is because it always did.

Abuse

was destined to always be at the end of a never-ending line for happiness, and he . . . well he was the one who demanded I stand there.

Mama

A woman who, though no longer beaten, needs the memory of the beatings to survive.

“How did it feel?” I say, softening as shame fills me. I think of the luncheon, charities set up to protect families like mine. “When he hit you?” She takes a step back, ready to run. It’s a question I never asked, didn’t dare to. Hearing the truth would have changed Papa in my eyes into a man I couldn’t conceive. Even as I saw him beat them, I convinced myself that wasn’t really him. It was a mirage fueled by anger or disappointment and maybe, maybe it was just as much their fault as it was his. If only they could be more of what he wanted, needed, then they too would be safe.

Siblings

“How did it feel?” I say, softening as shame fills me. I think of the luncheon, charities set up to protect families like mine. “When he hit you?” She takes a step back, ready to run. It’s a question I never asked, didn’t dare to. Hearing the truth would have changed Papa in my eyes into a man I couldn’t conceive. Even as I saw him beat them, I convinced myself that wasn’t really him. It was a mirage fueled by anger or disappointment and maybe, maybe it was just as much their fault as it was his. If only they could be more of what he wanted, needed, then they too would be safe.

Siblings

Heroes are not born or created. They become so in the passing moments of life. When something or someone demands you be more than you have been, when you must put aside your own needs and what is best for you to fight for another, no matter the cost.

Heros

We had learned to appreciate our lies like a veil over our lives, each untruth stronger than the facts.

Family lies

Shame fills me, knowing my sister has been suffering in indescribable ways while I lived in comfort.

Jodi

Somehow, they would have to find their way, and, maybe, by holding one another’s hands along the charred trail, each of them would find their own path to healing.

Moving forward

I imagine another falling star, but this time I don’t make a wish. Instead I smile, understanding that even though not every story ends with a happy ending or begins with tragedy, along the way there are moments of both. And those moments don’t define you or even break you—they are simply parts of the whole.

Maturity

the knowledge that today is not defined by yesterday and tomorrow is truly another day.

Know