X Marks The Stalker: A Dark Romantic Comedy (The Hemlock Society Book 1)

by K.N. Wilder

If there’s a worse way to start your day than scraping intestines off your shoes, I’d love to hear it.

Well, fuck me sideways with a murder weapon. This is an unexpected plot twist.

Do not pass Go, do not collect $200, proceed directly to murder.

Most people would call it stalking. I call it...selective admiration. Tomato, tomahto.

Different crimes require different candies. Bank fraud? Chocolate-covered espresso beans. Political corruption? Sour Patch Kids. But serial killers who arrange their victims like Renaissance paintings? That demands the nuclear option. Triple-sour gummy worms.

“I’m going to die,” I whimper, feeling another pinch. “This is how it ends for me. Death by ass attack.”

“You here, with me,” he whispers, eyes burning with reverence, “is everything. I’d burn worlds to keep this moment. To keep you.”

“What in the Bob Ross happy little accident is this standoff?” he whispers.

“You’re mine, Oakley,” I whisper against her lips. “To love and to cherish. And I’m yours. You can have everything. My life, my heart. Everything.”