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“I will miss you,” he says after a moment of silence. The words roll off his tongue casually, as if we’re friends.
Words, that’s all they are. Meaningless and insignificant; anyone can say them and make you feel special.
“You can’t miss someone you don’t know,” I angrily snap. “Then let me know you,” he counters determinedly. “I want to know you.”
I hold her, wishing I could take all her pain away. I hold her like my life depends on it. I’ll hold her until morning if I have to. I’ll keep holding her until I can’t any longer because how the fuck am I supposed to let go?
So many have called me empathetic, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but I’ve been screwed over by it.
“She didn’t fall in love with you.” “Huh?” “You saved her and she didn’t fall for you. She even said she didn’t know you. That must’ve butchered your ego.”
“Josie…” “Hmm?” Her eyes never leave mine. “I’m so happy you’re here.” “You wouldn’t let go.” Her voice wavers, fragile like that night. “I couldn’t and I wouldn’t.”
“I’m so happy you’re here, Josefine.” My brows knit. “Why do you keep saying that?” “Because I am.” He sounds so earnest, the words feel warm, like sitting in front of a fireplace, wrapped in a thick blanket.
She could be shooting me daggers and I’d welcome it. I’d rather have her eyes on me than not.
“Everyone wants to be my friend,” I retort with a grin. When her eyes cast to it, she glowers, but then her face becomes blank. “They must feel bad for you.” “So, feel bad for me and be my friend.” “You’re annoying.” “You mean good looking?”
“I want to meet the person who over inflated your ego. I need a word or two with them.” And I want to meet the person who fucked her over. I’ll have more than words with them.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing? I don’t give a damn that you’re six foot five, I’ll beat your ass if you touch me again.” I need to focus but I’m still stuck on the fact she knows exactly how tall I am. “You stalking me?” I smirk at the realization in her eyes.
“You’re so fucking…” “I’m so fucking what?” My lips tempt to curl upward. “Fucking frustrating. You and your goddamn insistence.” She quietly groans.
“I’m so happy you’re here, Josefine.” Those words are all it takes to confiscate the little bit of air left in my lungs. I know he’s not saying that because I’m here at the party; he’s saying that because I’m here. I’m alive.
I truly don’t but that changes today because my favorite shade is whatever Josie wears. And today happens to be a combination of all the green hues on her bikini top. Lime green. Yellow green. Dark green.
“Do I need to beg on my knees to make it happen?” The corners of my lips uncontrollably twitch and his eyes track the flicker before it’s gone. That makes his smile widen and my heart flutter.
Dios, no tengo suficientes palabras para explicar qué tan hermosa es. “How’s your finger?”
I’m here for you. I see you. You’re not alone. I’m so happy you’re here, Jos!
“I got you,” she softly and earnestly says, but more than anything, it sounds like a promise and I believe her.
“No, I think you’re hot, but if you prefer cute then…” A splash of pink colors his cheeks and his smile drops before he picks it back up. “No, no. I like hot. So, you think I’m hot?”
“My brain short-circuits when I’m around you,” he honestly replies. I’m not sure what to say or how to feel about that. “Should I be offended or—” “No, God no. It’s hard to think when I’m looking at you.”
Grief…never gets easier. It keeps evolving and all you can do is adapt to it because it’s always going to be there.”
“You’re not alone, Daniel.” And I’ve never felt more seen. But does he feel seen? “I’m here,” I opt for saying instead of asking.
“Sto facendo di tutto per non baciarti in questo momento.” I lift a brow, holding back a smile. “Well? You know I have no idea what that means.” He stares at me for a long beat, his amber eyes holding me in place and burning me up. “I said, I hope you’re ready to eat.”
“I thought your favorite color was green?” “Yeah, a thing. I happen to really like that color.” I reply. “And it is but it’s a bit too obvious and brown is different. Brown is…I just have a deep thing for it.”
“You don’t have to worry about that because if your mom ever met me, she’d tell you to run.” He studies me, taking in my words, then his eyes sweep over me. My brows scrunch together. “Why are you looking at me like that?” “Because my mom would love you,” he says so matter-of-factly it sends a shiver down my spine.
“So, you want to get married and have kids?” “With you, yeah. Just tell me when and where and I’m yours forever.” Something sounds different now, but I’m sure I’m reading into it. “Be careful what you wish for.” “I know. That’s why I’m wishing for it.” His smile and eyes seem different. Even his voice sounds different.
I’m the guy who has his shit together. I don’t worry people or make them sad. I’m the guy who people go to whenever something’s wrong. I should be that for Josefine, not the other way around.
“Needy? Josefine Resendiz, I’m anything but needy.” A small chuckle claws out from the back of my throat. “Yeah, okay, Daniel Garcia.” “Don’t mistake my willingness for neediness because I’m more than welcome to show you just how needy I can make you.” The muscle on his jaw tics and his gaze sweeps over me in a slow, longing motion. This time I can’t stop myself from shifting from one foot to the other and clenching my thighs.
But things don’t work that way. No one just looks past the flaws and decides they like you that much to stay. Maybe it works for other people but not for me.
“Daniel?” “Yes, Josefine?” His voice is light and teasing but haughty. “Disrespectfully, fuck off.” Mine, not so much. He throws his head back and laughs. “I like it when you’re mean to me.” “I thought you were into being praised?” I say, a little quiet and playful. “I’m into anything you do,” he murmurs just as quietly and playfully. Then he winks at me and we part.
“I needed this. I needed you,” he murmurs against my chest, the deep rasp of his voice vibrating against me.
“It’s just a hug,” I heedlessly reply. “A hug that came from you. This is all I wanted.”
She’s still staring at me with that same patient look of hers. She doesn’t have a lot of that, I’ve noticed. But for me, her eyes are drowning with all the patience in the world. I don’t deserve it.
“I shouldn’t but I keep wondering why you haven’t kissed me yet.” My jaw clenches and I remove my socks. No questions. “I shouldn’t but I really want to touch you right now.” Her eyes dilate and breath quickens as she takes her socks off. “I’m not going to stop you.”
“You’ve been dreaming of me?” I inhale deeply when I feel his fingers loosen on my waist and brush over the curve of my hip. He exhales a heavy breath as he nods. “Every night.”
“You’re fucking phenomenal. I love the way you listen. Love how responsive your body is to me.”
He stares at me like I’m his most prized possession—something delicate, something important to him. And I hate that because I’m not special, yet he makes me feel like I am.
“I always clean alone. I like it done a certain way, and if it’s not done how I like, it makes me feel…overwhelmed.” “Show me how you like it and I’ll do it that way too. Okay?” He tucks my hair behind my ear, then drags his knuckles along my cheek. “I might get mad.” “That’s okay.” “I’m serious.” “I’m serious too.” “I tend to be a control freak. I’m not kidding.” “I like when you tell me what to do.” He smiles.
“God, you’re such a—” His jaw tics, eyes darker than they’ve ever been. “I’m a what?” My pussy clenches. He cups the side of my neck with both hands, his lips just an inch away from mine. “A fucking brat. So stubborn. So frustrating. So hot…” He blows out an exasperated breath. “Can I kiss you? And don’t play games with me right now. Yes or no? If I can’t, I need to get out.”
“What did I do to deserve you?” I pinch her pebbled nipple, drifting my fingers to the hickey on the right side of her breast. “Stopped me from dying,” she playfully says but then winces. “Too soon?” “I’m so happy you’re here, Josie.” I caress her cheek. “I’m so happy you’re here, Garcia,”
“You want to marry me? Why?” she asks like the thought seems unfathomable, something she’s not entirely processing. “Because I see a life with you,” I say because I don’t want to lie. I don’t want to pretend like I haven’t thought about it. “Because you make sense. Because you make me happy and I hope I make you happy.”
“You’re a big deal to me, so I’m going to make it one. And I want you to be clingy, just for once, be clingy for me, Jos.”
“I mean it, you look beautiful.” “But?” I provoke, pushing my chest into him. “But you also look really fucking hot. You’d drown me in holy water if you saw what’s inside my head right now.”
“You’re worth it. I need you to understand that I don’t like the thought of anyone fucking with you. I’m not doing this out of pity or because I feel obligated, but I do think about that night because…” I swallow. “Because I just do. I can’t help it, and I can stand here and lie but there’s no point.” Raising my hands, I cup the side of her neck. “I care so deeply for you and it’s not because of how we met. I care for you more than I care about anything or anyone. I need you to understand that I’d do anything for you. I need you to understand that I don’t regret what I did and wouldn’t change
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“My heart begs for you.” “Maybe it’s heartburn?” she mumbles into my shoulder. I smile. “It’s not. I promise. Lately and for a while my heart and mind have been in a complicated relationship. They can’t agree so things don’t make sense or align, but you have somehow made them work together.”
“Please stay you. I like your soft heart.” I smile, the anger fading away. “My soft heart?” Her face flushes and she casts her gaze down. “Yeah, you have this thing where you see the good in things. I don’t want that to change about you.”
I don’t think she knows the control, the grip, she has over me. I don’t think she understands what I’d do for her, how strongly I feel for her.
“I don’t want to give you my pain.” “I have pain; you have pain. I’m pretty sure they’ll somehow cancel each other out.”
“Oh, so you and me, we’re official now?” “This has always been official to me,” he gravely says but still smiles. “A label isn’t going to determine what we are. I’m yours, strictly.”
