Please Don't Go (The Midnight Strike, #1)

by E. Salvador

It feels like I’m sitting in front of a television, watching my life play out. It’s all slow, excruciatingly so, but everyone and everything around me are all moving too fast. I can’t keep up.

It’s crazy how something cataclysmic can make you physically feel like the world has stopped moving, but the reality is that it’s only you who stopped.

“Voy a ir contigo, aunque quieras o no. Y no discutas conmigo porque está conversión ya ha terminado. Sí me entendiste esta vez?” Wow. “¿Estás seguro?” “Contigo, siempre.”

“I’m here because despite what you believe, you’re not a problem and you’re not broken. I’m not trying to fix you. I just want you to know that I’m here for you. As a friend, as a person, as whatever you want me to be. I’m here for you, Josefine. Whoever or whatever made you believe that is wrong.”

I’m here for you. I see you. You’re not alone. I’m so happy you’re here, Jos!

Grief…never gets easier. It keeps evolving and all you can do is adapt to it because it’s always going to be there.”

“Sto facendo di tutto per non baciarti in questo momento.” I lift a brow, holding back a smile. “Well? You know I have no idea what that means.” He stares at me for a long beat, his amber eyes holding me in place and burning me up. “I said, I hope you’re ready to eat.”

It’s weird how silence can feel so loud, so suffocating, so isolating.

don’t want you to feel like you need to make yourself cheerful or useful in order to be around me. I just want you to be you. And if you need someone to talk to, vent to, someone who will just listen, I’m here.”

I wish I could put myself in a bubble and live in ignorant bliss. I really wish I could because maybe then I’d believe that someone decided to look past my flaws and like me anyway because I was enough it didn’t matter. But things don’t work that way. No one just looks past the flaws and decides they like you that much to stay.

I’m not talking. I’m communicating with you. They don’t mean the same thing

“It’s just a hug,” I heedlessly reply. “A hug that came from you. This is all I wanted.”

I’m not what she needs, but she’s who I want.

“I want you to learn. It’s important to me, and it should be to you too.”

I can’t say my anxiety and dark consuming thoughts have disappeared, but she makes me feel really good. She’s therapy and medicine all in one. I feel anchored and high all at once with her.

“Let yourself feel. Making yourself numb will only make you want to stop breathing. So, talk to me. Let yourself feel. It hurts and that’ll probably never go away, but you can share your pain with me. I can’t promise I’ll make it go away, but I’ll do my best to lessen it.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” He stares at me for a beat. “Because someone has to be. You won’t; you’re too hard on yourself.”

“It’s really fucked up in there, Josie. It’s dark enough, I’m consumed in thoughts of also wishing for silence. I haven’t in a while though, but that’s as dark as it’s gotten. There’s this pitch-black fog that sometimes comes when I think about my future. And sometimes, it just comes because I don’t feel like I deserve good things. Like I don’t deserve you.” I don’t stop stroking his cheek. “If you let me in, I’ll hold a flashlight, and we’ll find a way out together.” His eyes light up. “You’ll do that for me?” “I’ll do it for the rest of our lives.”