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If my lies were a tangled mess, Alastair somehow twisted them into a noose. Intangible, unlike the one that silenced Sam forever—but surely enough to kill all the faith our people have in me. The faith my brutes have in me, too.
“Eden didn’t decide to attack the Den. Eden didn’t bring Aaron in on strategy discussions. The only thing Eden changed about how tonight was executed is who was executed—and you’ll note, it wasn’t us.”
“Thank her for your lives. Her judgment you’re so quick to condemn is all that saved you.”
“I get that Jayk is jealous, and Jasper is confusing, and Beau is dramatic, and Dom is hurting.” God, I can smell her. I can see how wet she’s getting. My fingers are bruising her
hips, and easing my grip takes so much effort. “I get that the low-drama guy can usually wait.”
“You offered yourself up to them? You don’t do that, beautiful. You don’t ever. Fucking. Do. That.”
“Just let me fucking keep you safe. Stop doing things on your own. I’m here now. I’m with you. Do you get that?” I kiss her again and taste brine. She’s crying. Or maybe I am. “I’m here. Just let me help.”
“I will. I swear, Lucky. No more secrets. I’m here.”
“Much as it pains me to interrupt your rousing seduction, Lucien, I’ve found one of Eden’s misplaced meals.”
“You will always be welcome in my home, Eden.”
“Always, Eden. With the men or without. Lie, kill, steal my every heirloom. Shatter my heart into a thousand pieces if you must, but you will always have a place at Bristlebrook. You will always have a safe place to land, no matter how bad things get. You’ll never be alone again. Not if I have anything to say about it.”
“Eden, you have spent most of your life alone, making decisions for yourself. From what I’ve gathered, you worked around
your grandmother and your husband’s rules more than you ever worked with them . . . because they couldn’t be trusted with that control.”
“No matter how much Beaumont would like to believe in the healing power of his phallus, his overwhelming white-knight complex won’t quite do the job on childhood trauma.”
“But you and I need time also. How I feel for you exists outside of how I feel for Lucien . . . and it needs different things.”
“And the way you respond to me, Eden . . .” He bends my arm behind the small of my back, bowing my back, and every part of me turns soft.
“The way you submit . . .” His voice edges toward raw, almost a snarl. Liquid, lascivious things whirl between us, and my head dips to the side, exposing my throat. “It’s like going to church.”
“I’m going to kiss you, darling girl.”
“Study me carefully, Eden. I’m going to kiss your cunt exactly like this when I get you home.”
“We all need each other, Dom. All of us.”
Whatever it was, he was in my class, my dorm, and he was too soft to survive the hard rules I lived by. So I beat his ass, shaved his head, and ran him ragged every day until he finally stopped whining. It took him less than two weeks before he snapped and flipped me over a table.
And how Beau drawled in that annoying accent, “Walked into a door, sir. I’m real clumsy sometimes.”
For that one moment, Beau had my love for life.
herself to salvage my shitshow. I knew she was smart, but watching her fox her way out of the box we were in was impressive as hell. She’s a good judge of character.
“Do you have any idea how much work it must have taken to get Bristlebrook into the shape it’s in? How hard it is to coordinate that many people for the kind of organized response we saw today?” His gaze cuts the men down, one by one, and his face is chiseled from stone. “I know you don’t, because none of you lifted a finger to help.”
“You don’t get what it’s like to never be good enough, or what it’s like to be hurt, because they always protected you. They loved you no matter what. When you fucked up, you just had to flash a smile and they forgave you—you’ve never had to apologize. You’ve never had to work to make it better. You’ve always had people, Beau, so you don’t know what it’s like when they’re not there for you.”
“You’re wrong that I’ve never been hurt. You hurt me. You hurt me, Dom.” His throat works as he swallows, and he adds more quietly, “And I still haven’t gone anywhere. I just needed some time, that’s all. I want to see your side. I’m not . . . I’m not your father.”
“You can’t just waltz back on into my life like nothing ever happened. I’m not going to pinch your cheeks and make you a pie just because I missed you, Beau. I needed you then, and because you couldn’t grow up and talk it out, you just left me alone. You broke something here. And you’re breaking it with her, too.”
“They’re not your boyfriends anymore. You don’t have boyfriends. You have me.”
“You don’t get to decide that for me, Jayk.”
“Jasper’s calm matters to me. Lucky’s joy and empathy. Dom’s friendship and strength. Beau’s—” My voice breaks, and I clear it, looking at the ceiling for a minute. “Beau matters to me, even when he’s being stubborn. I would think you could empathize with him on that. You’re as aggravating as he is, sometimes.
I didn’t tell him that he’s brave, and kind, and funny. I didn’t tell him that for every small thing he gets wrong, he does ten things right. I didn’t tell him that he’s my best friend. My family. My brother. I didn’t tell him that the reason his family forgave him everything was because
he’s so damn easy to love.
“I’m sorry, Beau. I’m sorry for everything. With Heather, the Plan, the civilians . . . all of it.” The words shudder out of me, hanging in the darkness. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I’m so mad at you,” Beau says roughly, hurt breaking his voice. “And I’m mad at her, too. I . . . I can’t make it stop this time.”
“I still love her,” he whispers. Bittersweet pain lances me. “I know.” “You love her, too,” he says, and it’s not a question.
I’m in love with her.
I love Eden. I love her strength and her mind. Her kindness and cunning. I love her so fucking much that she can rip me to shreds, and all I can think about is how fierce she looked doing it. She’s not cruel . . . she just doesn’t trust me.
“I love you as well, Beau,” I tell him softly. There’s only a beat of silence this time, and I hear the smile in his voice when he replies. “Love you always, Dom.”
“He’ll figure it out, Eden. He lost everyone he ever loved once, and he loves hard. He’s not about to lose you, too.”
“You were afraid I’d make you leave,” he says.
“You didn’t make me afraid of being alone, sir. My mother did that. My ex-husband. My whole damn life. You didn’t. This is a different world. People don’t risk themselves for others. They just don’t. But you did, no matter how begrudging you were at first. Over and over again, you did it for me and all these people. You kept me safe. You came after me. Do you know how—” I
“Do you have any idea how rare you are?” I whisper. “You don’t have to be perfect, Dom, but there’s nothing mediocre about you. You are nothing short of exceptional.”
This is my home, now. You’re my . . . damn it, you became one of the best friends I have. And maybe I didn’t trust you back then, even after I was taken, but you took the time and you earned it. All of you. You earned my l—”
“I betrayed all of you. If I was worried about being cast out, it was because of that.”
“Do not snort at me,” I snap, poking his chest.
“I’m not a perfect person, Dom.
“I do trust you, Dom. I just . . . took too long to realize it. And, God, I really thought Alastair would free the captives. I thought I knew better but . . . I didn’t. He lied. He took Heather, and Bentley, and we have no food, and that’s . . . that’s on me.”
“You’re our captain. We still have the Sinners to deal with, and now the Reapers? We need you,”
“If you don’t want to be my dominant, sir, then maybe you should stop ordering me around.”
