Once Upon a Demon's Heart (Cruel Fates, #1)

by K.M. Moronova

“You’ll be okay. I know we’ll meet again.” She throws her arms over my shoulders and hugs me tightly. I shut my eyes and hug her just as desperately. “I hope so,” I murmur, and pray that she can’t hear the dismay in my tone. Because I doubt I’ll ever be returning, and I don’t want her to see what becomes of me even if we do get the chance to meet again.

“I wish it wasn’t you, little godling.”

“If hurting me will soothe the pain that wreaks havoc in you, then hurt me, Kalel. You’ll find there’s not much left inside me that can be broken.” My voice gets lost somewhere between us as his control fractures and he drops to his elbows, so our noses are touching. “How bold of you to assume I feel anything,” he whispers against my lips.

I collapse in my nest. Thinking of death and how it would ease the suffering I’ve brought everyone in this world. Yet even death itself evades me.

A frown tugs at my lips as I watch the embers smolder like my past self. That hopeful girl is dead. I buried her to survive this war. Now I only have grief, penance, and guilt.

I’m so tired that maybe it is funny, but I can’t seem to tell anymore.

Please don’t let me die, Kalel. My heart twists and a surge of power thrums through my bones. Did she just pray to me? All sense flees my mind. The only thing I care about is saving my little godling.

“You even cry with no emotions, like a stone kissed with rain,”

“Fuck,” he says, shaking his head and threading his fingers through his hair roughly. His lips press together, and he gives me a look full of turmoil. A suffering man who only knows how to make others suffer. “I never wanted to be this.” He grinds his jaw and lowers his head between his knees.

“Is there a chance your king will want to kill me and continue with the war?” I ask with an empty tone. He shifts and stares out into the misty forest. “What would you do if he ordered it?” He makes it sound like a test. I let out a short breath. “I’d want you to do it. At least I know you kill swiftly.” His brow quirks. “I’ve heard as much,” I add. We’ve never met in battle before the time loops. If we had, he would’ve killed me long ago. “You have my word. It will be by my sword or no one’s, little godling.”

It’s odd how you don’t realize the loneliness in your soul until you meet someone who stubbornly plants it there.

“Why do you cry?” he asks, bringing his lips close to mine. “Is it because you know you’re the root cause of all my suffering? Of all my pain?” “Kalel… I was only trying to help you. I didn’t know they were going to do that.” A sob breaks from my chest. “Please. Please forgive me.” His eyes are empty. “Forgiveness?” He leans forward and kisses me softly before releasing my chin, standing and staring down at me. “Perhaps in another life I could have forgiven you. Perhaps even cared for you. But my heart is dead, little godling, it died the night you found me in that forest.”

It seems awfully cruel that this entire time, all I wanted was to escape the time loop and to save the demigods. Selfishly, I think the only thing I wanted to do was to live. So why did it have to be me who marries the Blood Knight? Why not an innocent demigod princess? Or a lovely maiden with unstained hands like mine… Why did it have to be me? The one girl who is the cause of all his suffering. He must have been hurting so much this entire time.

I know we aren’t two souls who are meant to be tethered to one another, but an ache settles in my heart at his reluctance to even look at me. Something from deep within my soul yearns to be with him, even if the gods revolt at our coming together.

as he lifts his bloodstained hand to my chin and tilts it up, I find a yearning burning in him. I find that it burns in me too. Kalel’s lips press against mine. It’s without a doubt a kiss the gods will wage a war over, but how is it that his kiss breathes life into me like I’ve never known? As if all the air before this one has been bitter. His hand moves up my jawline and threads through my hair as he deepens the kiss. There isn't a hint of hatred. Only whispers of our hearts—truths we have not yet shared.