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He looked up at us, and I saw the exhaustion there—not just physical, but the bone-deep weariness of a man who'd already buried the woman he loved, who'd spent decades raising children that weren't his blood, living in constant fear that the gods would come to claim what they'd left behind.
"To those who came before," Keth raised his cup. "And those who'll come after. And to tonight, which is all we get for sure." "To tonight," everyone echoed, and drank. That was it. No grand speeches, no elaborate ceremony. Just acknowledgment of time and mortality and the simple fact that we were here together.
"Begin smaller. Mighty rivers start as springs."
"You think you could break me?" "Break you?" His laugh was cold. "Breaking would be such a waste. I'd much rather watch you bend."
"You sound like you spent a lot of time in those libraries." "More than was probably healthy." A shadow crossed his face. "But books don't share the judgement of the living."
"Such a fascinating contradiction. The killer who melts when someone shows her exactly how powerless she can be."
I placed my hands on my thighs, palms up in exaggerated submission. "Oh insufferable lord of the afterlife," I drawled, with an exaggerated flutter of my hand, "how truly special it feels to bruise my knees for you." His eyes darkened, fixed on me. He stepped closer. I had to tilt my head back to maintain eye contact. "Is this what you wanted?" I asked. Danger flickered in his expression. He reached down, his fingers brushing my cheek. The gentle pressure there made my breath catch. "The view is certainly... satisfying," he murmured.
“Were you afraid?” “Terrified,” she admitted. “But sometimes terror and exhilaration are separated by the thinnest of margins. I think you understand that, given your current circumstances.”
“Death isn’t cruel, my dear. It simply is.
"This is..." he began, his voice dropping lower, "dangerous territory, starling. I'm not in the right state of mind to see you like this—with nothing but that flimsy excuse for clothing between you and the night."
"But I should never have threatened you." His arms tightened fractionally. "Not you."
"This place shaped my understanding of power. I believe understanding history is crucial to surviving the present."
"Thais, look at me." I tried, but my vision was fading fast. The edges crept in, and fighting it was fighting the sea. "No." His voice turned sharp. "You don't get to leave. Do you hear me? You stay here. You stay with me."
He sounded scared, I realized through the haze of pain. The Prince of Death—he was afraid.
"Don't you dare," Xül growled. "You don't get to die here, not this way. Not on my watch." But my body had other ideas. The power had scorched channels through me that weren't meant to exist, burned pathways that mortal flesh couldn't sustain. I was coming apart, unraveling. "Please," Xül whispered, and that single word held more emotion than I'd ever heard from him. "Please, Thais. Stay."
"You stayed out of duty," Xül observed. "Even then." "Love," I corrected. "I stayed out of love. There's a difference." "Is there?" His voice was contemplative. "They often feel the same."
"I'm not very good at hope. It's never served me well in the past." "Hope isn't something you're good or bad at," he said. "It's a choice you make every day. Sometimes every hour."
"Just because I don't want the eyes of the entire pantheon devouring what's before me doesn't mean I don't enjoy seeing it."
"This thing between us. Tell me it's just in my head, and I'll never speak of it again." His jaw tightened, the muscle there jumping with tension. "It's not just in your head," he admitted,
"You think it's that simple?" His hand came up to trace the line of my throat, barely touching. "You think I can just take you like some common whore and be done with it?"
"This can never just be physical for me," he said. "Not with you. And you deserve so much more than half of a man promised to someone else."
“You couldn’t even stand to be in the same room when another man expressed interest in me.” Xül’s jaw ticked. “Because none of them deserve you. No one ever will,” he nearly growled against my ear. “Even me, Thais. Especially me.”
“That’s not the only problem, Thais. I don’t just want your body. I want all of you. Every single piece. If we go there, it will ruin me for the rest of my life.”
All trace of laughter vanished as our eyes met, suspended in the dark water beneath a canopy of stars. In this moment, with the village lights shimmering in the distance and the weight of everything momentarily washed away, I saw him clearly. I saw the way he looked at me. "Fuck it," he said, and then his mouth was on mine. I gasped against him, my arms wrapping around his neck as his encircled my waist. The kiss was desperate, hungry, as if he'd been starving for this as long as I had.
"I've known pleasures both divine and profane. But never—" he said, while his thumb began a maddening circle around my clit. "Never have I wanted anyone the way I want you."
“You look like you’re mine.” Gods, I wanted to crumble at his words. "Say it," he demanded. "Say you're mine." "Yours," I gasped.
"I sent the staff away," he said, turning fully to face me. "I wanted to be the one to serve you today."
"This is a risk I'm willing to take!" "Well, I'm not!" The words exploded from him, swirls of death energy slamming into the walls. "I won't watch you die!"
He stood frozen, wrestling with himself. When he finally spoke, his voice was hollow. "You would use my feelings against me so easily?"
"You walked into my domain, challenged me at every turn, made me feel—" He stopped, jaw clenching. "Oh, don’t hold back now, Warden." I demanded. "Everything." The word ripped out of him. "You made me feel everything. Purposefully. I don’t let people in, Thais, you know this. Not like this. Not like you. And then I discover you were always planning to die.”
"Like you weren't? Like this isn't temporary for you too?" My hands pressed against his chest. "Nothing about you has ever felt temporary to me."
"Why? Because it's easier if we're both liars?" His hands covered mine. "I resent you. I resent that you made me need you. I resent that you were ready to die without a second thought about what that would do to me. I resent that even now, knowing all of this, I can't make myself stop wanting you."
"For what it's worth, hurting you is the worst thing I've ever done," he murmured. "I don't plan on repeating it. Ever."
“The thought of you losing you…” He trailed off. “I don’t know if I can bear it. Not truly.”
“Stop trying to reason with me.” His fingers tightened in my hair. “This is going to break me, Thais.” “Xül—” “You don’t understand.” He cut me off. “I love you, starling. I’m in love with you.”
“And I’ll be damned for eternity if I’m not willing to do the same. I’d burn Voldaris to the ground for you.”
"I’d wage wars for you,"
"You’re the only thing I’ll ever want," he confessed between kisses. “I’ll be yours for as long as you want me, Thais. Eternity is a long time, and I know I’m asking a lot of you. And that there’s a chance that you’ll change your mind, a year from now—a thousand years from now.” He paused, looking directly into my eyes. “But when that day comes, my heart will stop. It will only ever beat for you, Thais."
"And I'm yours," he growled. "Every part of me belongs to you, Thais. My body, my heart, my fucking soul—it's all yours."
How could I think about eternity when I couldn't feel anything past the next breath?
"You're still in there. Dimmed, maybe. Grieving. But not gone."
"My heart will only ever beat for you." The words came out rough, edged with darkness. "You own me completely. You always will."
"I don't need anything from you." His voice was fierce. "I just need you to exist. To be here. To let me help carry this until you can carry it yourself again." "And if that's never?" "Then I'll carry it forever." He said it like a simple fact. Like the sun rising. "That's what loving someone means." Love. What a cursed, vicious thing.
"May fate be kinder to you than it has been thus far, Thais Morvaren. And may the departed not stay that way.”
