Shouldn't You Be in School? (All The Wrong Questions)

by Lemony Snicket

Take your shoes and socks off, Snicket.” “Why?” “Shoes make an awful racket in the hallways,” she said, “and the floors are too slippery for socks.” “I’ll take my chances,” I said. Ellington gave me a quizzical look as she kicked off her own shoes. Her toenails, I noticed, were painted as black as her fingernails, although they looked more startling on her slender feet. “If you attract attention, it could ruin our only chance to defeat Hangfire. Take off your shoes and socks.” I hesitated, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Are you bashful, Snicket?” “I’m not bashful.” “Do you have ugly toes? I promise not to say anything about them.” “My toes,” I said, with as much dignity as I had lying around, “are perfectly normal, thank you very much.” “Then what is the problem?” “There isn’t one,” I said, and I quickly pulled off my shoes. I had to lean down to do it, and I had another opportunity to look at the object under the bed as I peeled off my socks and dropped them to the floor. It felt good to get them off. They were wet from the rain. But taking my shoes and socks off left my ankles bare, and Ellington stared hard at one of them. “Oh,” she said. “Oh,” I agreed. She leaned down and ran a finger along the tattoo on my ankle. To most people it looked like an eye, but hidden in the eye were three initials. They were not hidden to Ellington. She spelled them out with her fingernail on my skin. “V.F.D.,” she said. “Yes.” “Volunteer Fire Department.” “Yes.” “That’s another secret o...