More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
Read between
May 27 - June 16, 2023
If she’s always snacking, she’ll never learn to eat at mealtimes.
If your kids are used to different foods, you don’t have to be terrified that a picky eater will erupt at the sight of an herb in her soup.
French people talk a lot about food. That’s part of how they convey to kids that eating isn’t just for nutrition—it’s a full-on sensory experience.
They expect them to get most of their protein at lunchtime, whereas dinner will center on grains and vegetables. Kids typically eat sugary foods for dessert with lunch or at the afternoon goûter. Dinnertime dessert is usually yogurt or cheese and fruit.
Don’t let your child see how desperately you want him to eat his vegetables.
Make sure that children arrive hungry and not exhausted. Bring some books or drawing supplies. Before you go inside, explain even to little children that special rules apply—one of which is that they can choose what they’ll eat.
They believe these can be learned. French parents aim to teach their kids patience, the same way they will later teach them how to ride a bicycle.
Scientists have found that kids become good at waiting once they learn how to distract themselves—by
If you give the child just love without limits, she’ll soon become a little tyrant
Don’t Interrupt Your Child
Teaching kids to handle frustration also makes them more resilient later on.
Young children who are good at delaying gratification are more likely to grow into teenagers who can handle setbacks, and who are good at concentrating and reasoning.
Tantrums don’t change the rules.
“To grow up without risk is to risk not growing up.”
Show Kids That You Have a Life Apart from Them
They believe it’s burdensome for a child to feel that she’s the sole source of her mother’s happiness and satisfaction.
Looking good improves morale and makes you feel more balanced.
Your Bedroom Is Your Castle
No matter how misguided your partner’s proclamations about the household rules are, don’t contradict him in front of the kids. Wait and speak to him in private.
When you say no, you should always explain why not.
If a situation is dangerous, act first and give your reason afterward. Always be matter-of-fact: you don’t want your explanation to sound like a negotiation (it’s not).
Avoid castigating your child in front of others.
Aim to have authority without losing your connection with the child.
As the French say, you’re not disciplining, you’re giving the child an éducation, an ongoing process that starts when kids are very young.
Parents typically send a naughty child to her room to “marinate,” or think on it, and tell her to come out when she’s calm and ready to talk.
Remember, you’re on a long-term mission to educate. You don’t have to win every battle.
