Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting

by Pamela Druckerman

When speaking to kids, French parents will often use the language of rights: “You don’t have the right to bite Pierre.” This implies that there’s a coherent system of rules and that the child does have the right to do other things. 94.

Save your punishments for the felonies. It will help her learn what’s important.

In France, one suitable response to a bêtise is to give a child “the big eyes.” It’s a disapproving, owl-like look that serves as a warning.

Experts say a punishment should be administered immediately and matter-of-factly, without malice. Parents typically send a naughty child to her room to “marinate,” or think on it, and tell her to come out when she’s calm and ready to talk. For older kids, the punishment is often a few days without TV, computers, video games, or a cell phone.

Parents say they’re careful to warn children before punishing them, and to follow through on their threats.

They also try to be fair on the other end—by returning the phone ...