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There’s a gray cloud inside me, a shapeless, faceless monster created by my father. He rolled me in his palm, flattening all my edges and peculiarities; my creativity, my empathy, my passion, until I was a perfect sphere of his creation. Until the monster inside me matched the monster inside him.
There are few things more painful in life than the things we cannot change.”
There it is; the disappointment, the expectation that trauma has to turn into an inspirational story. That a life changing injury should end in a Paralympic gold and an awful childhood should fuel your meteoric rise to success. Just surviving is achievement enough.
I feel so deeply. I always have. Every emotion that runs through me goes through an amplifier on the way in. The tiny inconveniences feel like mountains, the annoyances become insurmountable wrath. I cry at charity adverts, laugh at dogs in the park. I can’t watch someone feel blue and not let it stain me too.
