Merry Me

by C.R. Jane

This time, I wasn’t giving her space to run. I wasn’t letting her talk herself out of us, out of what we had. This time, I was going all in. I’d already lost her once. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake again. Not when I’d waited this long. Not when every part of me still wanted her. This time…I wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“Hi,” he said, extending a hand like we were grown-ups meeting for a business deal. “My name’s Easton Maddox, and I’m going to marry you someday.”

“And how beautiful you look. I’m definitely noticing that,” he muttered suddenly, a pained expression crossing his freakishly hot features as he took me in. “Pretty hard not to notice that when you’re still the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen.”

“You should know me better than that to think that just because you said you were done…that it meant I was done too,”

“Why can’t I stop thinking about you? Tell me when this is supposed to leave my system, Natalie, because fuck knows I’ve tried.”

“You can pretend this means nothing,” he panted, leaning over me so that his mouth brushed my ear. “You can lie to yourself all you want. But you’re mine, Natalie. You always have been. And I’m not walking away this time.”

“Because I promise, Nat. No matter what happens, I’ll find you. Always. Even if we’re on opposite ends of the world. Even if we lose touch or get lost or…or hurt each other. I’ll come back. I’ll always come back to you.”

“I’m full of you,” he said simply. “All the versions of you I’ve ever loved. The girl in the truck bed under the stars. The woman standing in front of me now. All of it. I’ve carried you with me. And I’m not going anywhere, Nat. No matter how many walls you put up.”

“You’re everything,” I cut in, my voice fierce, shaking, alive. “You’re every late night I couldn’t sleep. Every word I wrote but never sent. Every breath that felt too heavy without you next to me.”