The Golden Raven (All for the Game, #5)

by Nora Sakavic

It took half the night before he realized how much work the Trojans were putting in on Jean’s behalf. Derek and Derrick brought over a gaggle of friends they’d made over the years, excited to show off their infamous teammate, and Jeremy heard Tanner hyping him up at one of the freshmen’s meet-and-greets. Ashton made sure to introduce his sister, a senior at Oregon State, and she flagged down several of her backliner teammates to inspect Jean up close. A couple players who’d studied French in high school or were currently taking it sneaked over to practice with Jean, and Jean gave them his undivided attention.

I LOVE THE TROJANS FUCK OFF

Jean was less enthused, judging by his sour, “I will not speak to anyone else for a week,” when they finally made it back to the hotel lobby that night.

Real

Do you want to break your racquet over my back?” ​Jean looked taken aback. “No.” ​“But don’t you want me to improve?” ​“Yes, but—” Maybe he was imagining it: Cat’s upturned face covered with bruises, blood drying at the corner of her mouth. He reached for her, testing her head for nonexistent lumps, and Jeremy’s heart ached. Cat’s gaze went soft, and she tugged Jean’s hand around where she could kiss his palm. Jean finally said, “Not you. Not like that.”

Thats it im DONEEEE MY HEART FUCJFKGMRGGYJ

Laila sat on the edge of Jeremy’s bed while he wrestled his tie loose. When he cast it aside, Laila held out her arms, and Jeremy stepped into her fierce embrace.

Laila was relentless. “I don’t like him, Jeremy. Don’t see him again.” ​“You don’t like any of them,” Jeremy muttered. ​“With good reason. Would it kill you to fuck someone who respects you?”

she tugged him close so she could press her forehead to his. “The next time you go home with Faser I will take your balls off with my fingernail clippers. Understand?” ​Jeremy flinched. “Jesus, Laila.” ​“I said, do you understand?” ​“Yes, yes,” he hurried to say, and Laila looped her arm through his with a satisfied nod.

I love her bad

The slap of a hand against wood nearly startled three years off his life, and Jeremy stared blankly at the arm barricading the bathroom doorway. He hadn’t even heard Jean get up, but now the other man was standing only inches away from him. The look on Jean’s face almost crushed the breath from Jeremy’s lungs, and far too late he thought of bloody bites and Jean’s fingernails digging lines into his own throat. ​“Give me a name,” Jean said. “I will kill him.”

I NEED HIM SO BAD

“I’m okay,” Jeremy stressed. “She’s okay. Are you?” ​“A name,” Jean insisted.

That’s all it was. I would tell you if it was something to be worried about, I promise.” ​“You promise.” ​Jeremy heard the accusation in that. “If you won’t trust me, trust Laila. She hates all my partners; she wouldn’t protect them from you.” ​“True,” Laila started to say, but Jean’s fierce, “They are not your partners,” was louder.

“Tell me about the cocaine.” ​Jeremy froze.

“You are you,” Jean said, simple and unhesitating. “I believe you.”

“It’s getting late. Is there anything else you want to know, or are you ready to get some rest?” ​Jean pressed a thumb to the bruises on Jeremy’s throat. “His name.” ​“I can’t give you that,” Jeremy said, scooting toward the edge of his bed.

“I told you it was an accident. He was just worked up and drunk.” ​“I don’t believe you. Cat has never bruised Laila like this.” ​“Maybe Laila’s not as good with her tongue.”

Thats insane omg T-T

response she tugged him down by his shoulders so she could kiss him square in the middle of his forehead.

Jean wondered if he would always be the villain, if this mockery and hatred would chase him for the rest of his life. It didn’t matter. It didn’t; it couldn’t. All that mattered was that he played to the best of his abilities and kept the promise Neil made on his behalf. But such thoughts couldn’t sustain him, and the weariness that ate at him suddenly was bone deep.

The strain of his commute, Jean supposed; he remembered their ceramics classmate making a crack about Jeremy’s inevitable exhaustion. That someone outside the Exy team knew him well enough to know what was coming was annoying.

Jeremy stepped off the curb, then seemingly forgot he was walking mid-step. He rocked to a stop so abruptly he almost fell over. Jean dragged him back to safety on the sidewalk, but Jeremy caught his wrist and hauled Jean after him across the street.

Jean couldn’t deny that, but he didn’t have to be happy about it.

Jean had been assigned to the second-half lineup, which suited him just fine: second was where Jeremy, Cat, and Laila played, and it bought him time to study his teammates during the first half.

behind him the Trojans were treating Derek like a returned hero, yelling and clapping and carrying on in the most embarrassing way. Jean idly wondered if they would ever shut up.

There was no reason to tell her how strange it was to exist in such a moment and place, so Jean only said, “Good.”

Jeremy’s whoop warned Jean the line was about to start moving, and even through Jean’s helmet it was deafening when the Trojans joined in.

Im hyped and im not even there

He was well-rested and pain-free, sated from dinner and comfortable in armor that hadn’t yet been bent and dented by heavy blows. He would perform well tonight.

JEANNNN :(((((

“Cat,” Jean said, in a tone he knew she’d understand as “What the fuck?”

HAS HE EVER SAID FUCK LMAO

Jean couldn’t make sense of it. From these outside distractions—Cherise, Tori, and Diego—to Cat and Laila, Xavier and Min, and whatever strangeness was going on with Cody, the Trojans seemed to fall in love so easily.

Jean tasted bile and blood. He sucked in a slow breath through the aching burn on his tongue and said, “It doesn’t matter.” ​When he dragged his stare back to Cat, the lighthearted teasing was gone from her expression. For a moment he thought she’d give up and grant him peace, but then she cautiously asked, “What happened?” ​A knife at his throat; cruel fingers in his hair. “Queers do not belong on my perfect Court. I will bleed this out of him within a week.”

Im gonna kms fr this time

Stupid, beautiful Kevin had tried his best to defend Jean. After all, he was blindingly obsessed with the Trojans; it was reasonable to assume Jean would also find a Big Three team captivating. He’d only dug Jean’s grave deeper with that argument. Riko hadn’t even known Jeremy was a factor then—it wasn’t the Trojans he’d caught Jean staring at with such unsubtle and idiotic devotion. Riko hadn’t wasted his breath correcting Kevin, not wanting to give him any more reasons to protect their worthless third wheel. Jean hadn’t tried either; what good would it do to confess to such an oblivious fool?

I AM NOT THE ONE U WANT I AM NOT THE ONE U NEEEDD

Jean moved without thinking, pressing a close-mouthed kiss to her temple the way she did whenever she thought he was unraveling. Cat’s arm went so tight around him he felt two vertebrae in his spine pop, but the smile she turned on him was bright.

WE ARE THE ONE U WANT WE ARE THE ONE U NEED

“You are very good,” he said to Jeremy. “I finally understand why Kevin admires this team.” ​Looking at Jeremy was a mistake; Jean forced his attention back to the court so he wouldn’t have to face that pleased smile. ​“We,” Jeremy said. “We are very good, Jean.”

WAHHHH

“Let’s hear it for the second-half lineups, starting with your USC Trojans,” the announcer said. “On offense, Ananya Deshmukh and your captain, Jeremy Knox!” He had to pause there as the stadium erupted in cheers. “Starting dealer: Min Cai! On defense, Catalina Alvarez and Jean Moreau!” Jean followed Cat through the doorway as the crowd yelled loud enough to rattle his teeth. In here he could barely hear the announcement for Laila, but he trusted her to be close behind him. He crossed the court to far-fourth and took his starting spot.

The aura radiating from my kindle rn is crazy

Hinch went to trip him, but Jean had grown up laying teams flat on their back.

That part

He got his second hand on his racquet even as he turned, needing the momentum and force of a two-handed throw, and he heaved the ball as hard as he could. ​The throw was good—of course it was—and Jeremy caught it with satisfying ease.

"of course it was" THAT PARTTT

That was as much as Jean saw, because Hinch slammed both hands into his chest to shove him. Jean forced his stare back to the man in front of him, who rewarded that attentiveness with another hard shove. This time Jean refused to give ground, silently daring the man to put a bit more effort into knocking him over.

Hes so hot

“You are very lucky they have me on a leash,” he said in French.

#needthat

The buzzer sounded. The Trojans had scored again to put the teams at six-three. Jean offered his mark a thumbs-up and intoned in English, “Have a winning day.”

OH MY GODDDDD YES

The referees were likely on the court already, but the Trojans and Bobcats were closer. Cat wriggled in between them, taking more than one stray punch herself as she acted as a human shield. Jean wound an arm around her waist to pull her out of the way.

CAT <3

“I’m sure you didn’t. We all know that’s why you signed him—no chance in hell two fags ended up on the same western team by coincidence.” ​“Oh,” Jeremy said, affecting surprise. “That’s rude, considering your current roster. I hope you apologize to them later.”

AYYTTE

“All right?” Jeremy asked. ​“I have had worse.” ​Jeremy winced and tapped their sticks together at last. “Not comforting, Jean.”

warning twinge in his side had him swaying on his first step. How ridiculous, to be so slowed by pain when he’d spent years playing through it. Had a few months of peace really made him so weak?

“Get checked out and come back when you two are ready.” ​The two included Jeremy; Jean realized too late that Jeremy was favoring his left foot. As soon as Rhemann went back to watching the game, Jean fit himself against Jeremy’s side. Jeremy offered him a grateful smile as he let Jean take some of his weight, and they followed the nurses back to the locker room.

QUITTT

“You were incredible out there. I know everyone else will say the same at the post-match roundup, but I wanted to say it first. And I know you’re only going to get better from here, because I know you’re still second-guessing this new style. I can’t wait to see how far you can go this season.” ​“I was outstepped,” Jean reminded him. ​“Maybe,” Jeremy said, “but you were never outmatched.”

KILL.MEMEMEE

“Sorry, that was uncalled-for. I know better than to let them get to me, but they’ve always brought out the worst in me.” ​“It makes you more interesting,” Jean said, and watched the way Jeremy’s jaw worked on silent protests. That he wouldn’t even defend himself said worlds to how disappointed he was in his thoughtlessness; he didn’t want Jean to like this side of him. Jean finally took pity on him and explained, “Not your capacity for unkindness, but how fiercely you fight against it.”

Kmg they get each other so bad im going to throw up

“Thanks, thanks,” Jeremy said, and Bobby shaped her hands into a heart for him.

Just tell me if we’ve got damage control to do—I know something set Hinch off. What did you say to him?” ​Jean glanced past him to where Cody and Cat were hovering. “I told him to have a winning day.” ​Cody whooped loud enough to send Derrick staggering dramatically away from them, and Cat used Cody’s shoulder for support as she bounced up and down. “That’s my boy!” she yelled, wild with shameless delight. “Hell yeah, let’s goooo!”

THEMMMMMM

I hope you don’t mind that we invited him down here for the postgame interview?” ​Jean refused to believe another Raven had come this far, but then a familiar voice spoke up with a simple, “Johnny.” ​Jean stopped breathing, but he was already turning. In no world could he ignore that voice; they had been partners for too long. At the end of the bench was a security guard, and at his side stood Zane Reacher.

Oh im bombing ingrid do not play

When Jean took too long to answer, Jeremy said, “Reacher, good to see you on your feet. I’m sorry for your losses this summer.” ​“Talk to me again and I’ll break your other ankle, Knox,” Zane said. ​Jean put himself between them. “Do not threaten my captain, Zane.”

CLOCK ITTT

Zane had burned every bridge between them. He was not Jean’s teammate or his partner anymore; his disapproval was worth less than a fly’s tiny shit.

“You don’t honestly believe I could have talked him into elevating a disobedient shit-stain to the perfect Court on my own. You knew it had nothing to do with me, but you betrayed me anyway.” ​“Fuck alive.” Zane pried his hands off and pushed him away. “Get over it.” ​Get over it, because that was the Raven way.

Omg beat the fuck ojt of him EDGAR ALLEN IM BOMBING U IM DOING IT

But January was different; it would always be personal. The insinuation that Jean could ever forgive or forget had him seeing red, and he swung at Zane with everything he had. They were so close he couldn’t miss. Zane crashed into the lockers behind him, and Jean followed to grab his shirt collar in both hands. Zane pressed a thumb to the blood at the corner of his mouth, unimpressed by Jean’s anger even as Jean twisted hard enough to cut off his air.

THANK YIU GOD FINALLY

A flash of color warned Jean they were no longer alone. In the same breath Jean registered Coach, Rhemann decked Zane hard enough to throw him. He looked ten feet tall as he towered over Zane’s crumpled body, radiating a rage he’d never once turned on his own players.

GOD IS GOOOOOOD