Fourth Wing Parody: Fifth Wing (The Boudoir Series Book 1)

by Reid Mockery

Dragons could be assholes. Riders should be very wary of that. --Article One, Section One Dewey’s Guide to Dragons

I’m already laughing 😂😂😂

“Okay, okay. How will I recognize him?” Mirror pauses. “You... will know.” “How? Tell me!” Another pause, “He is... hot.” My ears prick up. “How hot?” “You need to avoid him at all costs.” “How... hot?” Mirror looks down at her groin and says, “Just mentioning his name made my leathers moist.” “Holy shit, Mirror.”

BROTHER HAHAHAHAHA

Pain Assos used to be one of my closest friends.

No im crying 😂😂😂

That's when I realize I only moved ten feet forward on the parapet.

IM CRYING

“We made it!” She hugs me so hard I pass a little gas.

Actually laughed out loud

Of course. Nothing motivates teamwork quite like shared suffering.

Us at work everyday @alexis

“You will struggle with sparring and physical training due to your weight. The Gauntlet will be challenging because of your weight. I'm uncertain about Trashing, but some dragons might judge you based on your weight,” Pain says. “Yes, I get it. Geez.”

Jesus Christ!!!

“I got you something. This is a temporary membership card for Planet Fatass.

JESUS AGAIN 😂😭😂😭

I pass gas for a long time, and it feels so good.

I’m sorry? 😂

After breakfast, I visit the library to see my little friend Helen Keller. Helen is blind and deaf, which makes communication difficult.

STOP IT RIGHT NOW HAHAHAHAHAHA

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their boots. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their boots.” Major Jack Handey --Codex of Nonsense Section 18

Brother 😂😂😂😂

“How about having two dragons?” Yarros asks. “Who actually gives a fuck?” Colon pleads. “I have to say it. That rooster tail has special needs. Look at it. It is ugly as fuck and cross-eyed.” “That’s true. Is there any chance it will grow out of it? Like humans? Vile was the ugliest baby I ever had. But she got better. Mostly.” “What now?” They are discussing Adammit. She is special in their eyes.

Brother. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

“It isn’t that I don’t have confidence in you, it’s because I know you will fuck it up.

Dude 😂😂😂😂

“And you are not gifted mentally to understand what’s going on,” Kneehim added.

😂😂😭😭😭😭