Wild Card

by Elsie Silver

Clyde yammers on about the jet trails in the air, spraying the mountain with chemicals, poisoning the water and the animals. He suspects this is the reason his kidneys are in such rough shape. Chem trails.

The world around me can get turned upside down, and Clyde just…stays the same.

CLYDE GIBBONS. What a bizarre little man.

“Sometimes it feels like we are, though, doesn’t it, Bash?” “In the sense that I wish I could get rid of you, but I can’t? Yes. Yes, it does.”

“Savasana?” I gently correct, naming the resting pose we finished with yesterday. “You say Savasana, I say nap,”

“Quit gawking at his ass,” Clyde whispers, making me snap my gaze away. “I’m not. I’m looking at his back.” He giggles. This grizzled old man giggles. Like a little girl.

Being mature to Cecilia? Satisfying. Giving Clyde a kidney? Satisfying. Helping Rhys get an alarm system set up for Tabby while he was away? Also satisfying. Walking out and leaving Gwen to Tripp? I fucking hate myself.

But it can’t be just someone. I think deep down I want it to be the one. I’ve been hurt too badly for it not to be. And when I think of the one, I think of her.

“This is beautiful.” “Yeah. It is,” Bash agrees. But when I turn back to face him, he’s not looking out the window. He’s looking at me.

It turns out that when I care about someone—when I love someone—I’m willing to do anything for them.

Join a stupid bowling team that I never really wanted to. Give them a kidney. Play Disney Princess with some shitty raccoon.

Because if I’m about to become a raccoon dad, you’d better believe it’s going to be the coolest raccoon that anybody’s ever known.

I’ve never wanted to stay in one place until now. I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m desperate for it to be here. With him.

“You’re a fucking wild card. Unpredictable and never what I expect. You scare the hell out of me every damn day.

I’m staying here. With you. Always. I need you too. That’s why I’m never waiting on you. I’m living with you.”