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This isn’t a story about me falling in love with another human. This is a story about me falling in love with myself.
“He likes Nerds Clusters.” “He does.” “I like Nerds Clusters.” “You do.” I look into Mika’s eyes. “He’s buying some for our trip.” “Because that’s the kind of guy he is. He’s the most humble rich fuck you will ever meet.”
“Something we tend to forget when married, that we’re tied together in all aspects. What one partner might do affects the other. Whether good or bad. One move tugs on the other and vice versa. That’s why when we’re making our way through life, we need to be aware that our every move is tied to our loved one. We need to be conscious of that.”
I follow her line of sight, straight to the steam shower, where a large dildo is stuck to the wall. “Dear God,” I whisper. “Whatever you do, don’t drop the soap, Scottie. For the love of God, don’t drop the soap.”
“Good, because I’m not offering pity. But I am offering understanding. I’m offering a shoulder to cry on when you need it. I’m offering a listening ear. I’m offering you an opportunity for escapism. I’m offering a reliable friendship.”
“Who doesn’t have baggage?” I ask. “There isn’t one person on this earth who hasn’t opened a metaphorical suitcase and dumped in it. No life is perfect, no journey unmarred. Everyone’s carrying around something.
“I was born into this world worrying,” she says. “I don’t know any other way of living.”
Girl same
“I want to feel like I’m the most important thing in your life. I want to come home from work to find you excited to see me. I want you to want to kiss me. Hug me. Touch me other than when it’s for sex.” Her eyes lift to mine. “I want to know that if I were to walk out that door, walk away from this relationship, that you would know it was the biggest mistake of your life.”
Oof this is hitting a bit close to home
“Because toward the end, he just stopped caring. Didn’t say hi when I got home from work. Didn’t care to kiss me good night. Didn’t even think it was important to have dinner with me at times. He just…just didn’t consider me important enough to grant me his time.”
I guess I’m just not used to such selfless behavior, so I didn’t know how to react.” He slowly nods. “Well, let this be the standard,” he says. “You should accept nothing less from here on out from the people you surround yourself with.”
Just going to state for the record, if things in the morning are…happy to see you, I’m sorry in advance. I’m sharing a sleeping bag with a hot-as-hell girl who’s no longer wearing a bra. I did the best that I could.”
Looooool
I know what it’s like to feel loneliness. I’ve been there. Sure, Matt was able to walk and talk, but I also lived in a house with a man who didn’t care to acknowledge or appreciate me. I know what that could do to a person.”
Sure, he might not have done anything physically bad to her, but ignoring someone, not showing their importance in your life, that is just as bad. Because that wears on you. It’s manipulative and mental abuse.
Because we made out, and you acted like it meant nothing.” “Did it mean something to you?” He drags his tongue over his teeth and then says, “Scottie, I felt that fucking kiss through my entire fucking body.”
I stayed with someone who didn’t treat me the way I deserved for so long. I stayed faithful to a man who cherished his gaming console more than he cherished me.
Ouchie
One of the reasons you’re in a marriage is to have a partner in life that you can do things with, that you can experience things with, you know? And if you don’t take the time to have those experiences, then what’s the goddamn point?”
“I don’t think there is ever a good time to be selfish,” I reply. “When it comes to your mental health, yeah, there’s always a good time to be selfish.
“It’s hope,” he says. “It’s debilitating, because when it doesn’t work out, you have to be the one that sits in that crushed hope and figure out how to swim your way out.
