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“You may call me however you wish,”
Zeke is smart—he will know what to do.
My sweet sunshine baby
“Carter won’t take your money, and he’ll get pissed if you offer it.”
Uuuugh my grumpy goose
both of my thighs put together equal the size of one of his.
I can see the tip of his tongue poking out from between his lips, and have to physically drag my
“Carter is like…he is like a rose. Thorns, yes, but also a flower. Atlas is only the thorns.”
“All right,” I say, turning my face into the pillow. It’s a nice pillow, and it doesn’t seem to be moving. I like this pillow. “But tomorrow maybe we could try the kissing.”
“I think I am mostly wanting someone that I might like to talk with, and maybe lie under a blanket with to watch hockey, and also touch my hair.”
I like seeing the way Carter’s face has become softer these last two years, and his mouth is quicker to smile. I like seeing how animated Max has become, as though Luke is a battery he’s drawing energy from. I like how happy they all are and I like that I am a part of it. I love them.
“I have never been interested in kissing before, until I met you,” he says, head tilted and eyes contemplative on mine. His gaze drops to my mouth. “But I like your hair, and I like talking to you even though you can be rude and think I’m strange. I like looking at you.”
Hockey thighs—am I right?”
I wonder if anyone has ever told him he is beautiful before.
“Fuck it,”
You are very beautiful. I am not sure if you know this.”
Oh no, he is not so bad. And yes, I think I will.
“I am only wanting to be here with you, Bärchen. I will be saying no to everyone who is not Atlas.”
How could I want someone else when Atlas is in the world?
My very favorite things are when he holds my hand, or finger-combs my hair; when he brings me ridiculous apple-themed items, and smiles when I call him German nicknames. If Atlas never wanted to kiss me again, I would be sad, but if he never wanted to talk to me again, I would be devastated.
You’re already moved in, Vas, just stay.”
I won’t tell you that I won’t leave you. I will simply stay,
“Ich habe dich mehr vermisst,” he says, barely getting the words out before his mouth presses against mine with greater urgency.
