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Noah chuckled. Ramin looked so funny when he was flustered, his cheeks turning pink. The years really had been good to Ramin—he’d gotten more handsome.
Ramin had never minded getting older. Another year of life meant another year of honoring his parents. Doing things they never got to do. Honoring his queer elders, too, the ones who fought for him and the ones who hadn’t survived the fight.
It should be criminal for any straight man to have a smile like that.
His body was a good body. A strong body. A healthy body. He was allowed to enjoy good food. He was excited to enjoy good food.
He looked back up. Noah was still smiling at him. He didn’t realize how much he’d missed Noah’s smile all these years.
He couldn’t stand the thought of someone breaking Ramin’s heart. He wanted to gather up all the pieces and fit them back together. He wanted to frame it, reinforce it, so it was impervious. He never wanted anyone to hurt Ramin ever again.
Life’s pains hadn’t turned Ramin brittle but somehow soft and gentle.
It had taken all of one evening for Ramin to take up space in Noah’s heart again, and now he ached in the shape of that loss.
Once is an accident, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action.
Noah’s heart nearly burst. Ramin was radiant. He was brighter than the sun, and Noah had lived too much of his life in shadow.
He always packed like he was going to spill a pot of chili and shit himself three times a day.
Noah’s heart beat quicker, his chest felt lighter, his smile came easier when his friend was nearby. He’d never had a friend like that before, one who made everything better just by being there.
Ramin clamped his mouth shut in a shy smile. That smile of his was going to get Noah in trouble.
“I’m glad you have the perspective to understand your privilege, but that doesn’t make what happened okay. It doesn’t mean you don’t get to be upset.”
Ramin smiled at him, he forgot everything. Everything except how beautiful that smile was. How it settled deep into his soul. How he’d give almost anything to see that smile every single day.
But every time Noah looked his way, all he knew was he had to give this a chance. Even if it scared him.
Could Ramin fall in love with Noah Bartlett? Yes. Ramin knew, deep down, he could.
Noah’s heart fluttered with pride. He’d made Ramin happy. He really liked making Ramin happy.
He was perfection. He was everything Noah had ever wanted.
“Baby.” Noah’s quiet voice cut through the storm, a lighthouse beam through the fog. The tenderness framing that word made Ramin’s heart crack in two.
There’s only one thing I’d ever want to change about you.” Noah leaned in and kissed the teary corners of Ramin’s eyes. “I’d give you a thousand more smile lines, if you let me.”
I want you, Noah wanted to say. I want us. I want forever.
He loved Ramin. Loved him more than he knew he could. Loved him like he’d never loved before. Maybe he always had.
“We fell in love in a day. And every morning for the last twenty years we fall in love all over again.”
Noah leaned in and rested his forehead against Ramin’s. “I love you, Ramin.”
Ramin’s smile was like the dawn. Subtle, quiet, but then suddenly blinding. “I love you, too,” Ramin said.
“I love you, baby.” Noah leaned down to kiss him. “I love you.” Ramin kissed Noah back, slow and tender, tasting himself on Noah’s tongue.
“This last year has been the best of my life. You’ve filled my days with love and laughter and joy, and I want to spend every single one with you, from now until the day I die.”
He’d seen so many beautiful things in Italy. The waters of the Ligurian Sea. Michelangelo’s David. The sun setting over fair Verona. But the smile that dawned on Noah’s face put them all to shame.
“We’re going to get married!” “Assuming we don’t get smote for getting gay-engaged at a church.” “God is love,” Noah said. “I’m not worried.”
Noah looked at him, wonder written in his smile. His eyes sparkled as he pulled Ramin in close. “You, Ramin Yazdani, are full of surprises.”
