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I’ve arrived in London without incident. There are few triumphs in my recent life, but I count this as one. My existence of the last three years has been nothing but incident.
This journal does not deserve to have a foul, black mark running through every incriminating thought. I will no longer censor myself!
I’ve seen a shadow of a man slip from the house in the early morning and slip back into the house in the late evening, and one can be quite sure that if it is a shadow of a man, it must be Cousin Archibald. He’s not only thin in person, he’s thin in humour and spirit and character.
I look in this mirror and recognise myself less now than when I was a child. I suppose that happens when you’ve grown up and still don’t understand your place in the world.
There are realities we must face, an empty purse being one of them.
I was up late reading Book One from Paradise Lost. Once the hour turned from late to ghastly, I snuffed out the light and sat at the window,
it was his unassuming honesty that gave his words their strength.
He seems to know just what to do with language. It hovers beside him, a fluid and mischievous thing, like Prospero’s Ariel. And so Young Hawkes weaves spells with words and we sit enrapt.
he simply maintains an economy of interaction that is spare in its elegance.
How was it possible for someone to suddenly be lost to this world?
I am establishing my own blessed routine, namely that of taking two walks a day. One in the midmorning and one around sunset. These are both inconvenient times as far as socializing goes, which is perhaps why I’ve always been drawn to them.
the education I sought was not to be found at a school called Miss Prim’s. I wanted Latin and Greek and all kinds of histories. I wanted science and theology and language and art. I did not wish to sew cushions all day. I did not wish to dance and sing.
“It isn’t that you couldn’t understand them, Emma,” he said. “It is only that I want you to experience them when you’re a little older, because the words will be richer for the mite of your own experience. You see? Give it another year, and you’ll be ready to pilfer the treasures.”
The wisest strategy when dealing with Aunt Eugenia is one of limited information. Keep your answers brief, tidy, and without too many loose strings she can pull at.
“With italics. This is important, Emma. There’s no sense in dealing in improper nouns without emphasis.”
Most times what is amusing in my head is only that, in my head alone.
The true vulgarity is that while my great-aunt did not leave Lapis Lazuli for Cousin Archibald, she did bequeath him all the books in the library. I am beginning to suspect it was because she knew him to be a fool and hoped to provide remedy.
It takes a courageous man to marry a woman with a mind.”
it wasn’t foolishness; it was an ability to live his own life without need for more.
I will relish every page, but I will take time. I will read them through slowly, stretching the delight as far as I can.
While there are many things beyond our control, I’ve always thought the cruellest is that we mortals are not told when our last glance is just that.
I sounded more confident than I felt; one of the great secrets to life.
