Blitz'd (Evergreen University, #1)

by Lee McCormick

There’s something about Zander that calms all the angry rage in my chest, something about him that feels solid. Real. Something about him feels like he was made to soothe the darkness inside me, and I never realized how heavy it was until he lifted it with his light.

He steps closer to me and tilts his head up. It takes me a second to realize what he’s doing, and I freeze under his touch when he runs his lips along my skin and the swelling on my cheek. A small shiver zips up my spine when his mouth brushes against the cut at the corner of mine before his lips land gently on my own. The kiss tastes like blood, and I can’t help but think as he slips his arms around me and steps into me, that this is the first time someone has ever comforted me after Dad hit me. I open my mouth and let him trail his tongue between my lips, let him lick against the roof of my mouth and my shredded jaw with a tenderness I don’t really know how to process but I find myself craving. I want this. I didn’t realize I was becoming addicted to the way Zander cares, but I was. I am. I’m not sure I can live without it now. My arms wrap around him and I pull him closer to me, the violent beating of his heart telling me he can feel whatever this is that’s happening is different. This kiss is different. Fuck, it’s different. It means more. It almost feels like a first kiss all over again, because I’m doing it knowing that I want to keep doing it forever. I want to keep him forever. When he pulls back, I chase his mouth and bite his lower lip before letting him go. He’s flushed again, his eyes warm, his pupils slightly dilated. But it doesn’t stop him from leaning forward and brushing his mouth against the bruise on my jaw one more time.

It would have ruined everything I’ve worked hard to achieve, but I didn’t care. I would have done it for Kerian and not regretted it for a second. That’s how I know I’m in love with that asshole. No matter how much I cared for someone, I would never risk my future for them. No one but Mom and Colson. No one but the people I love. Seeing Kerian beat up had me seeing red, ready to toss it all away with both hands just to have the satisfaction of seeing his father’s blood run down my fist and his face swollen beyond recognition.

Zander’s mom wakes us up in the morning with the promise of breakfast and hard work, and when she flings the door open and catches the two of us curled around each other, she just covers her smile with her fingers and tells us to hurry up.

He looks… Happy. He looks really happy that I’m here in the center of his world, even though his world is the strangest thing I’ve ever encountered. I’ve spent enough time around people and pretending to be polite that I know the exact motions to go through. They just don’t feel fake this time.

I don’t… This isn’t normal for me. The stark contrast between Zander’s family and mine is so apparent it’s almost like a physical line drawn between us. Zander, and his mother who worked so hard to fill the gap of both parents. Zander, whose mom would give up anything for her sons without a question. And me… who never had a moment like this. Me… whose dad never gave a reason for why he beat the shit out of me, and it took me years to work out that shitty people didn’t have a reason for being shitty, and he did what he did because he felt like he owned me. He felt like I was an object… and Zander’s mom treats him like he’s the center of her universe. I didn’t realize things could be like this, and when she comes across the garden and hands me a cool glass of tea, I feel something in my chest constrict. I never thought I could be a part of anything like this. Ever.

“Oh, Kerian. Do you think you’ll be back for the holidays? I know I’d love to have you here. I’m sure Zander would too.” His mom sounds so fucking warm, inviting… and Zander is blushing, but he looks up at me through the dark strands of his hair that’s still slightly damp from the shower we just took. His smile is absolutely helpless, and so warm I feel like he’s trying to burn me alive. It’s probably the reason I give an answer at all. “Yeah, maybe.” Fuck—I feel like they’re trying to draw me in. To make me a part of something. To make me a part of this. Nightly dinners and board games, gardening and family and love. Everything I’ve never had. I can’t take it anymore. I’m not sure if it’s the way the emotions are overwhelming me, or if there’s a part of me that realizes exactly how empty the echo in my chest is. I’ve never cared before that I didn’t have a family—a life. I didn’t care that I had no one who really cared about me but myself. I was happy with it. I was content. But being here with Zander is giving me a glimpse into the person I could have been if my life had been different. My hand slips around Zander’s waist and I pull him against me—I feel his body tense for a second before he goes loose. He practically melts, and it just makes that weird feeling in my chest wind tighter. I almost feel like I can’t breathe. I feel like my entire world is shifting, and I can’t understand it—there’s a brand new pathway laid out in front of me, and I don’t have a fucking m...

“Where are we going?” There’s a smile in my voice, though—he can read me too well. He knows exactly what I wanted from him just from the way I touched him, the way I said I was tired. Maybe that’s a problem in and of itself, but that’s something to unpack later. Zander knowing how fucking horny I am for him constantly isn’t an issue. I haven’t been able to hide that from the first time I cornered him. I’d much rather him focus on that than how lost I feel.

“You planned this?” Zander’s wide grin is all the answer I need. He did do this. For me. For us. “I just thought you might want our last night here to be special… that’s all.” Zander’s cheeks heat, and he bites his lower lip. “And I wanted to show you how much it means to me that you came here. How much I want you to be here.” He looks like he’s trying to work up to saying something else. Something dangerous. It’s that weird twist in my chest again that prompts me to speak. I step past him and into the bedroom at the back of the small space. It’s nothing special, but it’s clean, and he has battery powered candles lighting up the room. There’s also fresh sheets on the bed. I had full intentions of taking him to his bedroom and stuffing my fingers into his mouth to keep him quiet while I fucked him senseless. I should fuck him senseless. Take out all of the confusion and twisting feelings I have on his ass, because I’m confident when I’m that person. I know how to be that Kerian. I don’t know how to be the Kerian who crawls back on the cheap sheets Zander made the bed with and looks up at the man who took the time to decorate the room so I would feel… What? At home? Romanced? Cared for… Maybe…

Then he laughs, high and free, his entire face lighting up. Fucking hell, I really am in love with this asshole. How could I not be? He might be a dick half the time—more like seventy-five percent of the time—but he’s also soft. Caring. Attentive. Since we started doing… whatever this is we’re doing, he’s been so different than I thought he would be. He gives me shit, but I give it right back. Like a key to a lock, we fit. Perfectly. Who would have thought the person I considered an annoying asshole would be the only person I can see in my life for the long term? Looking into his blue eyes, I know I’m fucked. So I don’t try to hide how I feel. I mean, I never really do, but I usually try to keep all the love and emotion I have for him at bay. No more. Kerian is mine like I’m his. If I have it my way, he’ll know.

I never thought I’d find the hip bones on a man so sexy my mouth watered every time I saw them, but here we are.

I cut him off before he can get worked up. It’s not just that I can’t tell him no; I don’t want to tell him no. “You really are a greedy slut, aren’t you? You just want all my firsts.” That’s as close as I’m going to get to telling him I’ve never done this before, but I want to do this with him.

I have to force myself to bite my tongue so I don’t say something ridiculous like “Be gentle” or “This is my first time.” Nope. Not happening.

“Fuck, Kerian. I was going to fuck you… but I think—” His words cut off into an unintelligible gasp when I rise up and drop back down on his cock, and it takes him a few seconds to recover enough to speak. “Mmmfuck. I think watching you ride me might be the hottest thing I’ll ever see. Fuck, you’re beautiful.” There’s so much heat in his voice it’s like he’s trying to scorch me down to charred bone and ash, something he can rub along his flesh to wear like a second skin. The thought of being wrapped around him forever isn’t… Fuck, it isn’t a bad thought at all.

I rock against him again and grab one of his hands, dragging his palm up so I can spit in it—it makes his eyes flash with saccharine heat, and I know what he’s thinking of. That first time in his dorm. My spit in his palm. “You fucked yourself with my spit before, didn’t you? That first night?” My words come out staccato, punched out with every downward thrust of my pelvis. He’s too caught up to try to lie. “I did, fuck. Of course I did.”

I want more. I want all of this. I want to come and at the same time I never want this to end. I want… “Zander… fuck… fuck.” I drag my eyes up the length of his body and my gaze connects with his, sweet brown and sunshine. Warmth on my skin. Something I don’t deserve, but I’m too greedy to give him up. I rock forward and catch his lips with mine while I keep up the tempo of my hips, grinding myself on his cock while I lick into his mouth. I want to feed him all the words caught like jagged pieces in my ribs, broken confessions and demands and obsession spreading out like vines and wrapping us both up with thorns. I want to bleed for him—with him. I want that feeling to tangle us together so I never have to let him go. I want… “Zander…” I murmur his name again, and my voice sounds so throaty. Husky. Needy. I’ve never sounded like that before. It makes him jerk back, his eyes wide. Shocked. Hungry. Without warning, Zander’s fingers on my hips spasm again, and his arms shoot up, wrapping around me. I think there’s a part of me that realizes what he’s doing as it happens, but I don’t fight against it. I just let him roll on top of me and settle between my legs, so the next thrust of his cock comes from the piston of his hips instead of the lift of my own. “Fuck…” He whispers it again, dropping his head so he can press a kiss to my jawline and drag his lips up to my ear. “Fuck, Kerian. I want to live inside you forever.” Forever. What a heavy word, and I can’t even shove ...

“What’s wrong?” I ask Kerian, looking at him from across the table as we eat at his favorite greasy pizza place. It’s been a week since we got back from visiting my family and he’s been weird. I asked on the way home if I had hurt him when we were fucking, apologizing before he got a chance to answer. I told him I kind of got lost in it, and he scoffed at me. Really fucking scoffed. “I can take more than that, Zandy, don’t worry,” he said, then looked out the window, his jaw set and silence resting heavily between us. I dropped the subject, since he said he was fine. But he’s been strange. Anytime I try to hold his hand while we’re driving to his place or touch him when we’re semi in public, he clams up. Like now. I reach across the table to grab his hand and he slides it into his lap. I raise an eyebrow, wondering what the fuck. “Come on, Kerian,” I say, tossing the menu onto the table. “Tell me what’s bothering you.” “Nothing, Dimples. Practice. Shit is crazy.” “Is it nothing, or is it practice?” He ticks an eyebrow up at me. “Does it matter?” “Yes, it…” I start and realize I’m almost shouting. I lower my voice and lean in. “Yes, it fucking matters. I don’t like you icing me out like this.” “Not icing you out, Zander.” He sighs and looks up at me, his blue eyes flashing. He places his hand back on the table then motions for me to touch him. Even though I want to turn him down—be childish and tell him no, that he missed his chance—I would never give up an opportunity to t...

Kerian needs time. Time for what? Away from me? Is he second guessing our time together? Second guessing us? No. He can’t, right? We’ve been having a great time. From the way he treats me, how he touches me, kisses me, fucks me. He can’t be second guessing. He might not be ready to tell me he loves me, but we’re good. Right? For the rest of the day and through the night I can think about nothing but Kerian’s text. Just need some time. Yeah, fuck that. Fuck him needing time. Last time something like this happened, we had a terrible fight. I didn’t think we’d come back from it. I can’t go through that again. If Kerian is done, then he needs to fucking tell me to my face. None of this cryptic text shit. It’s game day for Kerian, but I couldn’t care less. I need answers and I need them right fucking now. Well, after practice. Coach would have my ass if I told him I missed practice because my boyfriend was being a dick. Is Kerian even my boyfriend? I fucking know nothing and I need answers. By the time I finish practice and shower, Meridian is just wrapping up their first half. I sneak down to the sidelines to look for Kerian, but he’s on the field. I look at the game clock and see there’s less than a minute left in the half, so I head to their locker room and wait by the door. It’s stupid, cornering him like this, but I can’t… I’ve been going fucking crazy trying to figure out what’s going on. Three days of radio silence? Yeah, it’s not good for me. The crowd cheers and I know...

Zander’s eyes go so wide I’m pretty sure I can see straight into him. His mouth opens and closes. “I… uh. Oh.” He breathes out, the sound as shaky as I feel on the inside. “Oh.” “Right then.” I push past him while he’s still stunned and duck into the locker room, hoping he has the sense to go home, or at least go to my apartment and wait for me now that he forced those words out of my mouth. God damn it. That was not how I wanted to say it. I’d had plans… but if I knew anything by now, it was that my plans never worked out when they were with him. For fuck’s sake, I’d invited him over to my place—I thought he’d get the idea. But of course that was me assuming Zander wouldn’t be… Well, Zander. Soft and sweet and needy as fuck. “Fuck.”

All I can think about is the way I completely fucked up what I meant to do because Zander looked like he was already breaking up with himself on my behalf and I couldn’t let that happen. I was never going to let him go.

Damn it. Zander really is fucking with my head, but it doesn’t matter. I can’t give him up—I can’t take those words back. I love you. Plans—I’d had plans. And now I was having to put my game face on so we could go back onto the field. And fuck me if he isn’t standing right there waiting, following along beside our team with a lost expression on his face. “Kerian?” Who the fuck follows someone to the edge of the field? “Kerian!” He shouts it this time, and I can’t ignore him. I pivot on my heel, feeling every stride of anger in my step, every bit of frustration that he’s forced me into doing this. That Zander Braithe is fucking up everything. I’m rough when I grab him by the front of his shirt, and my kiss is hard enough that I can taste copper. I don’t care—and I don’t pay attention to the sounds coming from the stadium or anyone around me. For just a second, my world is narrowed down to that kiss—apples and copper. Zander. Everything is Zander. It always has been from that first kiss until this one. It makes me lean into him before I completely pull back, a tender swipe of my tongue brushing away the pain. “Listen, Zander… can you please just go into the stands and fucking cheer for me like a normal boyfriend for five goddamn seconds? We can talk after I win.” And there’s that wide expression again, chased by a blush that blossoms across his cheeks and a smile that’s brighter than the floodlights above us. “Boyfriend?” “Oh, my God. Zander⁠—” “You said boyfriend.” “Fuc...

Even though we’re in Kerian’s much larger bed, I still wake up with his hair tickling my nose as I hold him close. I breathe him in, smelling a hint of his soap and… me. The apples he claims I smell and taste like. Maybe it’s true, though I’ve never noticed. I came home with him after the game, and Kerian fucked me slow and sweet, playing my body like only he can. His hands roamed, his teeth nipped, his lips sucked, and all the while, he told me how much he loves me. I enjoyed hearing that over and over more than the orgasms he gave me. Though the orgasms were damn good. I tighten my arm around his waist, sliding close enough to him to live in his skin. In a sleep-soaked voice, Kerian says, “Wanna give me some room, Dimples?” “Not really.” I slide even closer, kissing the back of his neck. “You’re hot.” “Thanks, babe. You are too.” He chuckles and pushes his butt into me, making me laugh. “I mean you’re making me sweat, weirdo. Get off.” I kiss him once more on the back of the neck and flop over. It’s really nice to have so much space in the bed when I roll away. Kerian turns to me, propping himself up on his elbow. “No good-morning text?” “Go away, dick,” I murmur around a yawn. “You can’t be mean to me and expect a good-morning text.” “You got a lot of rules, Dimples—I can’t treat you like shit, I gotta be nice to you in the morning. I’m starting to think this whole relationship thing isn’t for me after all.” Giving him a dry look, I say, “Those are normal rules for norm...

A little while later, when I’m finishing up my paper, Kerian flicks my left ear. I jump, looking at him like he’s lost his mind. “The fuck was that for?” “I’m bored.” I give him a dry look, but his answering smirk makes me smile. “Okay? You’re watching television. Find something else to watch besides fucking game highlights.” “But I want you to entertain me,” he says with a pout. God, he’s so handsome when he’s playful like this. He pulls the laptop away and tosses my books to the end of the bed. Even though I exhale like I’m extremely put out, Kerian straddles me and kisses me softly. I wrap my arms around him, pulling him closer as he devours my mouth. The kiss is warm and sweet, a contrast to how he usually kisses me. I lean into him, sighing against his lips. Kerian pulls away and I chase his mouth for more. He chuckles and shakes his head. “No more until you give me attention.” I smile up at him, then flip him onto his back. Kerian laughs loudly, his face transforming, a light shining under his skin. When we first started this, he would never have shown me this side of him. I don’t want to go so far as to say I’ve made him better, but I’d like to think some of my openness has rubbed off on him, even if just a little.

Settling between his legs, I kiss him quickly. “Is this enough attention?” “Nah, you can do better than that, Braithe.” I kiss him deeper, hiking one of his legs higher on my waist. His hard cock rubs against mine and I grind against him, trying to get him off like this. Kerian groans against me, his rough palms sliding down the back of my pants to grab my ass. He pulls me in over and over, not wanting more than what we’re doing. My dick is painfully hard as I thrust against him, attacking his mouth roughly. Kerian threads his fingers in my hair, holding me close to his mouth. He strokes his tongue over mine eagerly, making me moan against his lips. I snatch my mouth from his, attacking his neck with frantic kisses and sucking marks into him. Kerian is vocal, sounding off how good I’m making him feel. I want more, to touch him more, to be skin to skin with him, but I don’t want to stop what we’re doing. There’s always later. Kerian groans, locking his legs tighter around me. “Close, baby. Close.” My cock erupts without warning when he calls me baby, wetting the front of my pants. It’s not something I expected from him, calling me anything other than Dimples, Zandy, or Braithe. Even when he’s balls deep inside me, he never calls me anything else. Hearing him call me baby sends me over the edge. Even though I flooded my pants, I keep grinding against him so I can make him come. It doesn’t take long, Kerian tumbling off the cliff with a curse. His body shudders as his dick tw...

We talk about mundane things while we eat, mainly me praising his game yesterday. Though Kerian looks smug, I can tell how much it means to him that I was there because I wanted to be there, not because he owed me his future.

Before I round the corner, I glance back at Kerian only to find him already staring at me. My cheeks heat as I duck my head, a smile stretching my face. Having the attention of someone like Kerian is a heady experience. Especially when he looks at me like he wants to eat me alive.

He’d throw it all away for me. He’d do everything he could to protect me. Just as I would for him.

I guess if I’m going to be friends with anyone, the man who can blush at a compliment one second and threaten to kill a woman the next is probably the right pick.

Fuck, it never gets old for Kerian to tell me he loves me. Now that he’s said it, he’s not shy with the words. He says it as often as I do, without hesitation. I really do love that psycho.

I wave at him and blow him a kiss. Before he can stop it, a smile spreads across his face, bright enough that I can see it all the way over here. We’ll have our head in the game when the whistle blows, but right now, I can flirt with my boyfriend from across the field.

When he pulls me up for another kiss, I know this is good. That we’re good. That Zander sees all the dark places in me now, all the breaks and snarls, tangles and shadows and flaws… and he loves me anyway. He loves me because of it. And I’ll do anything to make sure I get to keep that love for the rest of my life.

My mom was front and center for both of us, wiping her eyes with a tissue when we recited our vows. Kerian’s eyes went soft when she apologized for not being able to sit on both sides as the mother of the grooms. “I have a new son,” she told him at our reception, framing Kerian’s face. “I’m so happy for you two. Kerian, if you want, you can call me Mom. If not, Beth is fine.” I think he was too overwhelmed to call her Mom right then, but over the past two years, he has let it slip a few times, my mom’s eyes going soft every time he does.

Kerian is a total psycho. And I love him more than life.

We’ve come full circle, Kerian and me. Kissing on a football field, for all the world to see. This is what we both wanted. This is our dream—to play in the pros. But over time, my dream changed to include Kerian. I don’t know where my life would have been without him, and I’m glad I don’t have to find out. Kerian is mine, forever and for always. I’m never letting him go. Just as I know he’ll never let me go. Seriously, the man is a psycho. He won’t let me go for all the money and fame in the world.