Himbo Hitman

by Saxon James

“Smiley faces are a privilege, not a right.”

My thighs protest the climb, and my speed slows down significantly. If anyone ever did want to kill me, all they’d need to do is chase me up some stairs.

“Who’s stupid enough to take some crime lord’s money?” “In my defense, I didn’t know they were a crime lord.” The fact he thinks that’s a defense at all proves that he’s stupid enough. “They organized a hit on someone. That didn’t raise red flags with you?” He tries for another shrug. “Hey, man, we’re all just trying to get by out here. What’s one person’s red flag is another’s ideal quality.” “Again: organized hit. Crime lord. Those are not ideal qualities.” “Yeah, but don’t we all wish we could find someone who would kill for us?” “I’ve literally never wanted that a day in my life.” “Ah. Well. I am a romantic at heart, so …”

My throat is hard to get words past. “You’re very cute.” St. Clare tilts his head in interest. “I didn’t say very.” “No.” Ignoring my nerves, I direct his head back around so I can keep working. “But I did.”

“Perry …” My voice is hard to recognize. “Are you sure you’re straight?” His lips part, and I wait for the immediate confirmation. It doesn’t come. “I’m not sure of anything anymore.”

“Right. That’s … conclusive. But tell me: what if it’s only ever women, and then, occasionally, you’ll see a guy who gives big Dom vibes, and that sort of does it for you?” He stares at me. “Wait. Wait, wait. Tell me … tell me you’re not talking about⁠—” “Shhh!” I throw a look back down the hall. “Maybe not professional will-spank-you Dom … just … would respectfully tell me what to do and be super confident and good in bed type of …” The words I’m saying suddenly catch up to me. “You know what? Forget I said anything.”

Under the negative self-talk and his external optimism over just about everything else is a smart man who loves his sister and is struggling to find his way out of a bad situation.

“You are way too high-strung,” he murmurs, gaze settled back on my mouth. “And you have an abnormally large Adam’s apple.” “Are you insulting me again?” “No. It just means you can’t swallow around me, ever, because it’s a kink I wasn’t aware I had before, and every time you do it, it makes me want to lick your throat.”

“This is more than sex, and you know it. I’ve done the just sex thing. I’ve been with people who aren’t interested in anything more than what I can give them physically, but I’m so much more than that. I know I can be. Let me look after you and be sweet to you and maybe fall for you a little bit. I want the sex and the emotions and to look at you and know that I have my own person who’s safe and home and all mine. I think you could be that person.”

“I love you so much that at one point I went for a heart checkup because I was sure there was something wrong with it.”