Himbo Hitman

by Saxon James

Putting myself out there again and again and only hearing silence back is threatening to put a chink in my positivity and send me on a weeklong reality TV binge instead. There’s nothing Judge Judy can’t fix.

“Colin could be dead, or he could have been issued the same ultimatum you were.” He’s right. “Schrödinger’s Colin.” “I don’t think you’re supposed to joke about your missing brother after being shot.” “How many people do you know with a missing brother who’ve been shot to fact-check that?” He thinks for a moment. “Just you.” “Cool. Then it’s allowed.”

“I get flustered easily,” he says, voice squeaking that bit higher than usual. “Flustered?” “My mouth is stupid. A big idiot. Don’t trust a word that comes out of it.” “Like our pinky swear?” He hurries to shake his head. “No, no, that was sacred.”

“Can I see it?” “See … what, you want to admire your handiwork?” “Sure.” I shrug. “I’m assuming it’s horrifically mangled, judging by the way you keep bringing it up.” “Is there some kind of etiquette for getting over gunshot wounds I don’t know about?” “I’d say a week tops for minor injuries.”

“You know what? Forget I said anything.” “Wish I could.” “This never happened.” “Wish it didn’t.” “Pass me that bottle of Coke, please? I’d like to start attempting to drown myself.”

WWJJD? Judge Judy sure as fuck would not stand for that bullshit.

“Would you have kissed me if you didn’t think you were going to die?” He chews on his answer for a second. “No.” At least he was honest, I guess, even if it proves I was right. But Perry isn’t done. “And I would have missed out on the single best moment of my life.”

Let me look after you and be sweet to you and maybe fall for you a little bit. I want the sex and the emotions and to look at you and know that I have my own person who’s safe and home and all mine. I think you could be that person.”

“And when I get worried about pulling this next part off, I just need to look at you because I know you’ll be looking at me, and when you do … it’s like you think I can do anything. No one’s ever looked at me like that before.”

He’s family now. We protect our own.” While I don’t know how to feel about that creepily sweet sentiment, I know exactly how Perry will react. With excitement. Like a dog who’s been adopted and can’t stop doing zoomies. Which means that I’m stuck with them too. Love that for me.