Alchemised

by SenLinYu

A lie, until it wasn’t.

Despite how cold he often was, a dragon was an apt sigil for the Ferrons. He kept walls of ice around himself, but there was fire in his heart.

But his eyes… She could tell— He was hers. The realisation broke her heart.

you…I must admit, you are the most exceptional asset the Eternal Flame possesses. And I am sorry for that.”

“You could be a healer,” she finally said as he removed the block on her nerves. She flexed her hand, opening and closing. It was still sore, and fragile as though hairline-fractured. “You have a natural talent for it.” “That’s one of the most ironic things anyone has ever said to me,” he said quietly.

“You are not expendable.

“You are not replaceable,” he said, his hands trembling against her shoulders. “You are not required to make your death convenient. You are allowed to be important to people. The reason I’m here—the reason I’m doing any of this—is to keep you alive. To keep you safe. That was the deal.” He searched her face. “They didn’t tell you.”

“I don’t want to always be alone,” she said. It was easier to be honest in the dark. “I want to love someone without feeling like if they know, it’ll end up hurting them. People who love me always die. No matter what I do, it’s never enough to save them. I have to love everyone from a distance, and I’m so lonely.”

“You don’t have to be alone,” he said.

“Then use me,”

“You don’t have to push me away to protect me,” he said in a hard, familiar voice. “I can take it. You can stop being lonely. I won’t misunderstand. I know you just want someone to be with.” She looked for a door. An escape. He didn’t let go. “Helena…” She stilled at her name. “I’m alone, too,” he said.

The kisses were slow. It wasn’t seething or rushed or guilty, but it was still desperate, because he always made her desperate. She kissed him the way she’d wanted to. The way she’d secretly wished she could. She could have this. Once.

Like a star, he was glittering and ice-cold from afar, but when the space was bridged, the heat of him was endless.

When he kissed her, it felt like the beginning of something that could be eternal.

“I’m sorry.” His hand still entwined with hers tightened. “I’m so sorry. I ruined so much of this for you. This is how it’s supposed to be. Let me give this to you now.”

“Please, Helena.” She gave the barest nod. “Close your eyes.” His breath whispered against her cheek. Her eyes fluttered closed as he kissed her.

She stared up at him as her whole world shattered into shards of silver.

“I think I’ve nearly memorised you,” she said. “Especially your eyes. I think I learned to read them first.” The corner of his mouth twitched, and he caught her hand, capturing it against his chest. “I memorised yours, too,” he said after a moment, and then sighed, looking away. “I should have known—the moment I looked into your eyes, I should have known I would never win against you.”

“You’re mine. You swore yourself to me. Now and after the war. I’m going to take care of you. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you. You don’t have to be lonely. Because you’re mine.”

She was locked in the dangerous embrace of Kaine Ferron, and it felt like home.

“You’re a far better person than I am. This world doesn’t deserve you at all.”

“Don’t worry. I’m always going to come back to you.”

“Be careful, Kaine. Don’t die.”

“You’re mine. You’re mine.” He’d repeat the words over and over. “Say it. Say you’re mine.”

“I promise, Kaine. I’m always going to be yours.”

“You’re mine. I’ll always come for you.” He always did.

“I’m going to take care of you. I swear, I’m always going to take care of you.”

The Maternal Condition: An In-Depth Study on the Science and Physiology of Gestation,

Ch.21 - Kaine gave her the same book

“Because I have warned you, if something happens to you, I will personally raze the entire Order of the Eternal Flame. That isn’t a threat, it’s a promise. Consider your survival as much a necessity to the Resistance as Holdfast’s. If you die, I will kill every single one of them. Given that the risk to their lives is the only way to make you value your own.”

I love you. It was right at the tip of her tongue, but she hesitated, biting the words back. There was a part of her that felt she might doom them if she said it. If there were important things left unspoken, tomorrow would come. She kissed him instead. I love you. She told him in the way she held him close; in the way her mouth met his; in how her hands trailed across his skin, mapping him, memorising every detail of what it was to be with him, his scars under her fingers. I love you. I love you. She told him in the way she let go of herself and held on to him instead. With every beat of her heart. I love you. I will always love you. I will always take care of you.

omg <3

“Mine. You’re mine,” he said as he kissed her. “Always.”

“I hate it when you kill people because of me,” she said.

idk why this was funny to me

“Love isn’t as pretty or pure as people like to think. There’s a darkness in it sometimes. Kaine and I go hand in hand. I made him who he is. I knew what that array meant when I saved him. If he’s a monster, then I’m his creator.”

She was a non-active member of the Order of the Eternal Flame and did not fight.

</3