Alchemised

by SenLinYu

“We will not give them that satisfaction. Paladia is ours. We built this city as a beacon; that light has protected the world from necromancy’s stain for generations. The gods are on our side. Sol is unconquerable. The laws of nature will not give victory to corruption. We will not fail; we know the rewards our ancestors received for their faithfulness and bravery, and we will taste the same!”

I was thinking, I could use transmutation to make a really light mesh armour with a high tensile strength, and then use the compound to remove the resonance. You would wear it under your clothes. It wouldn’t interfere with your resonance, and no one could use theirs to break through it.”

If there were important things left unspoken, tomorrow would come.

I love you. I will always love you. I will always take care of you.

“What if it’s not that simple, though?” she said. “Everyone who wins says they were good, but they’re the ones who tell the story. They get to choose how we all remember it. What if it’s never that simple?

“What’s wrong?” he finally asked. Everything. “Nothing,” she said. “I think I forgot to breathe after you left.”

“Mine. You’re mine,” he said as he kissed her. “Always.”

“You’re mine,” he said almost against her lips. “Mine. You swore it. Your Resistance sold you to me. I’m not going anywhere without you. And if anyone touches you, immortal or not, I will kill them.”

Helena felt as if she had been staring at a puzzle from the wrong angle for months; now she could suddenly see it clearly. “He says, ‘Get him out’?” Her voice seemed to come from far away. “Usually.”

“We had a good run, but we were never going to last.”

“I’m never going to forgive you for this,” she finally managed. The words came out slurred, giving them an irregular lilt. Kaine’s lips tightened into a flat line, but then he nodded. “I know you won’t, but you’ll be alive and away from the war. Those were always my terms.”

He was looking for her. He’d come for her. He always did.

“You always said you wouldn’t choose me over everyone else. I am chained to a sinking ship. I will not take you with me.”

“You didn’t save me,” he said when he was finally capable of speech. “You just put us in hell for two years.”

“Every time you asked, I promised I was yours. Always. There aren’t any exemptions or expiration dates on always.”

“You’re mine,” she said, heart pounding unsteadily against her ribs. “Did you really think I would still hate you once I remembered?”

“I’m sorry—I’m sorry—I’m so sorry for everything I did to you,” he said, his voice hoarse and broken. “I love you. You left, and I’d never told you.”

“Do you think that makes it better? Your heart could fail, and if I’m not here, you’ll be gone. Just like—” He went silent. “Don’t do this to me.”

“I don’t want to choose. I always have to choose, and I never get to choose you. I’m so tired of not getting to choose you.”

I want you to stop breaking yourself trying to save me. Go. Live. Tell our daughter I saved you both. That—is what I want.”

“I didn’t make plans past the war because there were never any plans to make. Holdfast, the Eternal Flame, they were never going to win, and I always knew that. Falling for you didn’t change that—it just…it just made knowing worse.”

“The first promise I made to you was that I’d be yours for as long as I live. I’m keeping that one.”

“Helena, look at you. You have broken yourself into pieces, over and over, because of me, and you don’t seem to understand that it kills me. Living is not worth it to me if you’re the one who keeps paying the price for it. Let me fix what I can.”

“Every day. I’ll choose you. That way you’ll know it’s still what I want.”

“Love isn’t as pretty or pure as people like to think. There’s a darkness in it sometimes. Kaine and I go hand in hand. I made him who he is. I knew what that array meant when I saved him. If he’s a monster, then I’m his creator.”