Alchemised

by SenLinYu

She thought at first if she waited long enough, some glimmer of light would appear, or someone would come.

but someday, someone would come for her.

All she knew was that as long as those manacles remained locked in place, she wasn’t an alchemist at all.

“The war is over. What is it you think you’re protecting in that brain of yours?”

Ferron usually wore nothing, not even a wedding band. The only piece visible was a slender, dark metal ring on his right hand.

it wasn’t an unusual black metal at all, but a severely tarnished silver ring, as if he never took it off to care for it.

“Do I know you?” she asked as her eyes slid closed. “I suppose you do.”

recalcitrant

“The world already knows she’s mine,” Ferron said, his words pointed, “but if you’d like, I can remind them.

“Why don’t you die?” There was no point in being coy. She wanted to kill him; they both knew it. Blood was still flowing down the hilt of the knife, dripping scarlet across the white marble floor, spattering across the ouroboros mosaic. His lips curved into an insincere smile. “Prior commitments, I’m afraid.”

“I will die before I lose her,” Ferron said, his grip tightening.

“I was a healer,” she said. “I wasn’t—they didn’t let me fight.” Ferron said nothing.

“Ferron always comes for me,” she whispered.

Ferron will come. Ferron will come.

she would like to be loved. To know what it was to feel wanted.

“If I’d known what pain you’d cause me, I never would have taken you.”

“But at this point I suppose I deserve to burn. I wonder if you’ll burn, too.”

Ferron would sit on the edge of the bed and smooth her hair. Sometimes he would take her hand, his fingers moving absently against hers. The first time he did it, she thought he was playing with her fingers; then she realised he was massaging them.

The room flipped as she was dragged up and crushed tight. “Stay…please…stay.”

“I have warned you, if something happens to you, I will personally raze the Eternal Flame. That isn’t a threat. It is a promise. Consider your survival as much a necessity to the Resistance as Holdfast’s. If you die, I will kill every single one of them.”

“Whether you win a battle or lose it, all I see is the cost.”

“I swear it, on the spirits of the five gods and my own soul, Kaine Ferron, I’m yours as long as I live.”

“You are full of surprises,” he added after a moment, voice lower than before. Helena wasn’t sure what to say to that, so she just said the first thing that popped into her head. “Do you say that to every girl?” He huffed a laugh and ran his hand through his hair to brush it off his face. “No, I can’t say I do.”

However, this ring was hand-forged rather than transmutationally crafted; she could see the hammer marks that had beaten a scaled, almost geometric pattern onto it. A bizarre thing for an iron alchemist to have. “A symbol of our relationship,” Ferron said,

“Are you wanting a confession? Shall I tell you everything I’ve done?” She stared into his mocking eyes. “Do you want to?” There was a flash of surprise that softened his features for an instant. He was lonely.

idiosyncrasies

“Don’t die, Marino. I might miss you.”

“You have no idea how hard it is to save someone, to fix all the ways the people like you break them.” She glared at him. “I hope someday you have to try. See how little you think of it then.”

Instead of perpetually ice-sharp and guarded, he felt like something she might drown in.

“if anyone had told me you’d become so lovely, I would never have come near you. I was rather blindsided when I saw you again.”

“You’re like a rose in a graveyard,” he said, and his lips twisted into a bitter smile. “I wonder what you could have turned into without the

“You made me feel like the parts of me that aren’t useful still deserve to exist. Like I’m not just all the things I can do.”

“Don’t die, Kaine,”

“There are far worse fates than dying, Marino.” She nodded. “I know. But that one you don’t come back from.” He gave a bitter laugh. “All right, then, but only because you asked.”

Women were always defined by the lowliest thing they could be called.

so—I think it would be really ungrateful if you—d-died.” He gave a hollow laugh and stepped closer so that his chin grazed the top of her head. His sigh was almost despairing. “All right…” he said, “but only because you asked.”

But his eyes… She could tell— He was hers.

“I promised I was yours. You made me swear it. I didn’t make plans.”

She only heard Crowther utter one word before the door sealed shut: “Beg.”

Of course you’d weaponise your guilt in order to use mine.” He gave a low bitter laugh. “I’m sure there’s something poetic in it all, but right now all I feel is a new set of manacles.” He let go and stepped away from her, heading for the door. “So forgive me if I dislike looking at you. I’m still adjusting to the ways these new ones chafe.”

“And if you’d died?” He looked up, his eyes glittering with rage. “There’s plenty of people to replace me. I’ve always been expendable, remember?”

My loyalty was to those least responsible for her suffering, but if the Eternal Flame has decided that you are an affordable casualty, I will not be noble or understanding. I can exact dual revenge. I will make them pay if they get you killed.”

“You are not expendable.

“You are not replaceable,” he said, his hands trembling against her shoulders. “You are not required to make your death convenient. You are allowed to be important to people. The reason I’m here—the reason I’m doing any of this—is to keep you alive. To keep you safe. That was the deal.” He searched her face. “They didn’t tell you.”

He touched her cheek, tilting her face up and kissing her. “Use the ring, call me, if you ever need anything.”

“I don’t want to always be alone,” she said. It was easier to be honest in the dark. “I want to love someone without feeling like if they know, it’ll end up hurting them. People who love me always die. No matter what I do, it’s never enough to save them. I have to love everyone from a distance, and I’m so lonely.”

“You don’t have to be alone,” he said.

“If I care about you—I won’t be able to use you. And you’re the only hope I have of keeping everyone else alive.”

“Then use me,” Kaine said.

He didn’t let go. “Helena…” She stilled at her name. “I’m alone, too,” he said.