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His hands slid up around her throat, warm and possessive, thumb covering the scar below her jaw as he kissed between her eyes. “You’re a far better person than I am. This world doesn’t deserve you at all.”
“Kaine.” She pulled his hands off. “You can’t keep me here. I have to
His expression flickered, just enough to reveal a shard of possessiveness, something ravenous and desperate. Then it vanished and he let her stand, resignation sweeping across his face.
She reached out, her fingers brushing back his hair. “Don’t worry. I’m always goi...
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He captured her hand and pulled her close. His other hand slid possessively up her throat, fingers tilting her head back, and he kissed her, long and deep, before he drew away to meet her eyes. “Call me, and I will come.”
“You’re mine. You’re mine.” He’d repeat the words over and over. “Say it. Say you’re mine.”
“I promise, Kaine. I’m always going to be yours.”
“Well, you should.” He was suddenly ice-cold, and his eyes gleamed so silver that they were almost white. “Because I have warned you, if something happens to you, I will personally raze the entire Order of the Eternal Flame. That isn’t a threat, it’s a promise. Consider your survival as much a necessity to the Resistance as Holdfast’s. If you die, I will kill every single one of them. Given that the risk to their lives is the only way to make you value your own.”
Every day she wondered if she was working towards her own doom and Kaine’s destruction. After how poorly he’d reacted to Helena’s mere involvement in the war effort, she didn’t tell him about the bomb. It wasn’t difficult to hide it; he was so busy with the ambassador, they scarcely had any time to do more than exchange urgent information.
“Well, the Resistance is taking this final assault seriously at least. The Hevgotian force will cross the western border within the week, but several militocrats and officials will arrive in a day. There’s to be a welcome banquet for them the following evening. Most of the Undying will be in attendance; even Morrough may be there briefly.”
“And you won’t be there? When it goes off.” She was afraid that he was evading the question.
“Make it a long errand. I’ll bring it tomorrow evening.”
“No.” His voice cracked like a whip, and all the softness vanished. “Crowther’s not using you to transport a bomb.”
“It won’t be activated until the components are joined, and there’s a countdown. I’m not going to get blown up carrying it,” she said. “You can’t put it together on your...
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“I don’t care. Tell Crowther to figure out another way.” He’d turned bloodlessly pale, that inhuman gle...
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“I found you after a bombing. I had to watch them cut you open, trying to get the shrapnel out. You nearly died so many times on the operating table, I lost count. If you’d been an inch closer to the blast, that shrapnel would have gone through your heart. You want me to set a bomb, I will do it, but you will not touch it. Do you understand?”
He let go slowly. “I’ll call for you.”
Someday, she promised herself, someday I am going to love him in a moment that isn’t stolen.
Don’t let this be the last time. She didn’t close her eyes. She kept them open and watching him, trying to notice every detail. She wanted to commit everything to memory, the way he felt under her hands and against her skin, as if sufficient detail could make this secret thing real enough to endure; as if she could write it into the universe so deeply that even a war could not erase it.
I’m going to take care of you. I’m always going to take care of you. He didn’t say it audibly, but she could hear it in the shifting of the air, the way his jaw moved when he mouthed the words.
“Kaine,” she finally said, “there’s a chance—we’re hoping that this attack will be the end of the war. We don’t—we aren’t sure how much longer we’re going to last if it isn’t.”
“If I survive, I’m not going anywhere without you.”
“You’re mine,” he said almost against her lips. “Mine. You swore it. Your Resistance sold you to me. I’m not going anywhere without you. And if anyone touches you, immortal or not, I will kill them.” He didn’t wait for a reply; he kissed her as though his lips were a brand on hers.
“You might change your mind someday,” Lila said coaxingly. “Just have to find the right sort for you. You’d be a good mum.” “I’m a healer; we don’t do things like that,” Helena said.
