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Shane had the stupid urge to ask him to stay. He imagined falling asleep in his arms
He wanted to forget that this ever happened. He did not want to reach for him. To pull him back on the bed. To do everything they just did two or three more times.
Ilya told himself the twisted feeling in his stomach was just jealousy, but he was terrified that it was something much, much worse.
then they were both holding each other and laughing until they were wiping tears from their eyes.
He seemed to legitimately enjoy making Ilya feel good.
but before he pushed it open, he leaned down and kissed Hollander quickly on the mouth. “Good night, Hollander.”
And he hated himself for wanting any of this. But not enough to stop. Never enough to stop.
staring at him with the same wide-eyed terror that Shane felt.
kissed Shane in a raw, uncontrolled way that felt like an apology.
as if he’d just realized that Shane was really leaving.
Shane.

