More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
Light is dimming behind your eyes; do you fucking see that, Daisy?
If she wanted to dive headfirst, I was going to dive right behind her. She knew that was true.
“Hey, Calloway,” I said softly, tucking a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear, one that escaped her pony. “Hey,” she whispered back. “You ready to feel your fucking heart burst out of your chest?”
It was then. That I fucking knew how much I really understood her. How much I related to the loneliness in her eyes. I felt closer to her in a way that I couldn’t articulate. It wasn’t physical. Or mental. It was spiritual, something I couldn’t shake.
“You look like yourself. Just leave it alone.” “So you’re saying I always look like shit?” I flatten the longer pieces over my forehead. I don’t even know what the fuck I’m doing. “Yes,” he says easily. “And stop touching it.”
“I don’t think we’ve met before.” He almost smiles, which makes mine grow wider before I take another taste of ice cream. “Are you fucking sure?” He steps closer, only a few feet apart. “Because I have a girlfriend who looks a hell of a lot like you.”
“I’ve been alone for most of my life,” Ryke starts. I hang on every word. He’s almost twenty-seven. I can see the hard, lonely years behind his eyes, but he never wears exhaustion. Ryke belongs with nature, able to withstand the seasons and time just like the rocks he climbs. He keeps going, he keeps moving, and he picks everyone up when they’ve fallen behind. It’s this unyielding strength that I feel now, drawing us closer. “And then I met you,”
“I made your life crazy,” I whisper. He nods like it’s a good thing. “Yeah, Dais. You made it fucking crazy, and I’ve been so crazy in love with you.”
As I home in on the ring, I go quiet, stunned by the unique design. Rectangular diamonds form rays around a circular, yellow diamond. It’s the sun.
It’s cuter than anything, and I can’t help but think—I’m going to have this for fucking ever.
Watching someone you care about slowly and then rapidly become scared of the world around them is like being a passenger in a car crash. With no way to pump the brakes. It’s fucking hell.
Jane Eleanor Cobalt is speaking French. I should clarify: a one-year-old baby is uttering French words, strung together to sound like complete sentences.
Moffy flips open a page and mutters to Jane, words that are clearly not English. Uh-oh. Lily coughs on her chip. “Did he…” I pat her back, unsure of how she’ll take this news. “I think he might have spoken French,” I say. “Or maybe it was Spanish.” When we babysit, Ryke will read books to Moffy in Spanish. Lo and Lily don’t know, but we thought they wouldn’t mind.
“That having babies with you would be an awfully big adventure.” Then I put on my helmet and flip up the visor, winking before I head to my red bike. He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling my back into his chest, and he says, “Then let’s fucking start it, sweetheart.”
“One-hundred-and-fifty miles per hour. No brakes.”
“I hate…being out of commission. Not even sexually. Just physically…broken.” It’s everything. It’s the stupid cyst. The two months of waiting to try for a baby. The fact that my reproductive organs could fail me all over again. It’s feeling like I’ve let him down somehow. Like I’m not pulling my weight. Like he could do better with someone a little more whole. “Hey.” He tears my hands from my face and lifts my head up. My chin trembles, trying to keep it together. And he says so strongly, “You’re not fucking broken.” My eyes burn. It takes me a moment to respond. I’m so quiet and still. I
...more
Ryke Meadows endures all things like he was born to last forever.
“In college, I bought a Superman phone case and you said we couldn’t be friends if I called you on it.”
“You also burned my Halloween bat-ears, which weren’t even a DC product.” “You were a bat on my birthday,” he retorts. “That was worse than me lighting your little ears on fire.” “I was nine,” she says, poking him in the chest, “and you ate all my favorite Pop-Tarts on purpose the day before.” “Huh, so it was a revenge bat-costume,” he says like his point has been made.
“You know your ass says, Bat Girl, right?” I didn’t. “That do it for you, Calloway?” “It does a lot of things for me.”
“No, she’s a virgin. Good God, it’s like tuning into five different radio stations at once when I come here. Don’t you all ever get tired of each other?”
Connor sets his arm behind Rose on the loveseat. “They mean it in the colloquial sense. They’re an item, going steady, boyfriend-girlfriend, baes—” “What the fuck is a bae?” I interject. “One of the stupidest internet trends,” Garrison answers, “and I’m pro-internet and pro-memes, so you know it’s gotta be fucking awful.” The fact that Connor is up-to-date on slang is actually kind of fucking terrifying. He’s usually a step behind Lily and Lo on pop culture. I’d rather Connor Cobalt not be all-knowing.
Friends aren’t forever. They’re not even for a while.
“My favorite superhero wears this ring…” She finally pulls it off and then shows me the simple silver band with a black square carved in the center. “It protects Tilly Stayzor from anyone outside of the Fourth Degree, basically her personal enemies.” She flips the piece of jewelry between her fingers. “This ring is just a reminder that there are people who have your back. And we all need protection at some point.” She places it in my hand. “I want you to have mine.”
“I’m just scared that no one will listen to me. It’s easy to dismiss my opinion when I’m younger than my sisters, and I also used to do what everyone else told me anyway…” She put her hands to her hips and stared up at the paper lanterns in our room. “What’s the point of speaking up when no one hears you?”
“The fucking point is for people to understand that you have opinions, that your voice counts, and if they don’t hear you then yell louder.” Her eyes flitted to mine, and I said deeply, “Never give up or back down on the things that fill your soul, Calloway. There is no worse life than a hollow one.”
Our relationship is fucking animalistic and visceral but grounded on the trust and friendship we built first. Since we’re both really physical, people may only see our sexual connection, but the latter is unbreakable. It’s what I fell in love with at the start.
“Is that why we kissed?” He touches his heart. “I thought you loved me. After all this time.” Connor smiles. “Always.” I’m confused by the exchange. My brother nods to me. “Harry Potter reference.” I tense. “You’ve read Harry Potter?” I ask Connor. “Lo gave me a set in March after I asked about it.”
@lilycalloways: everytime i think about loren hale the first thing that comes to mind is "what a beautiful male specimen" @LiLoX23Hellion: I really can't say it all in 140 characters why I love Lo so much! @lorenhaIe: LET ME SHOW YOU THE TACO WORLD LOREN @ryshannemia: Loren Hale is the light of my life and the apple of my eye <3 @teacupsbooklove: I just want to hang out at Superheroes & Scones all day with Loren Hale. Is that too much to ask? @lilyswampahat: Loren Hale isn't afraid of scary movies. I'm afraid of scary movies. I will watch them (but not really) as long as we can cuddle okay.
...more
I have no fucking idea why people call him a cinnamon roll—all the fucking time—but they never say a bad thing about him.
I know this promise is lofty and seemingly impossible, but I’d do anything for her, for my family. Lily once told me that she’d “go down with the Raisy ship”—and even though I rolled my eyes, it’s how I feel every day of my life. I’d go down with Daisy, to the bitter fucking end.
“Vieni qui.” He uses Italian with me mostly in intimate moments, muttered quietly and softly. I’ve heard this phrase enough to translate it without asking. Come here. I step closer, and his rough hand slides against my cheek with so much tender affection. My body warms. “How do you say hold me?” “Abbracciami.” He wraps his arms around my shoulders, pulling me until our chests meet. I can’t contain my smile. “How do you say give me a kiss?” He lowers his head and whispers, “Dammi un bacio.” Then his lips press to my cheek, leaving a fiery, tingling imprint. “What about lick me?” I tease. His
...more
“Congratulations by the way,” I tell my brother. There’s a long pause. “For what?” “You know what.” It’s the first week of October. Today marks the fucking day that my little brother has been sober…for two long years. I think he’s going to say something biting in return. After another pause, he says, “Thanks, you know, for everything.” His edged voice is full of sincerity. “You did it on your own. I just stood by you.” “Yeah, well…I needed a hardass.” With a mouthful of food he says, “And now I’m going to hang up on you.”
“I may have never been to camp,” Daisy says, “but I’m more determined to build one. Where summer-long campers make new friends and live their wildest adventures.” It’s the most Daisy Calloway thing in the entire fucking world. A place that brings happiness to kids through wilderness, friendship, and thrills like zip-lining and ropes courses.
“My theory,” I continue, “is that if you have sex in the air, you’re one step closer to reaching god-like status.” He almost smiles. I’m grinning more for the both of us. “Zeus and Hera fuck in the clouds, right?” Ryke gives me a what the fuck look that I appreciate. I love it all. “Do you want to become a god with me?” I ask, running my fingers through his hair again.
“Then what are you protecting her from? We’re on a motherfucking plane.” Daisy says under her breath, “With motherfucking snakes.” My brows furrow at her. What the fuck. “Snakes on a Plane? Samuel L. Jackson?” she asks. “Nothing. Not ringing a bell for you?” “No.”
Connor observes his wife for a second, but Jane throws her little body at her father like she’s catapulting off a trampoline. She squeals with laugher and draws Connor’s attention immediately. He lifts her up. “Hug,” she grins, her cheeks redden from the cold. His grin matches hers. “Thank you, honey.” He kisses her forehead before putting her bottom back on the snow.
His Instagram is popped up, both of our photos posted side-by-side with the caption: my someday wife #sweetheart #pumpkinpie
“I don’t know,” Lily says, helping Moffy stand onto his skis with Lo. “If I loved Princesses of Philly as much as I love X-Men then I think maybe I’d understand how upset they are. Like, if Marvel just decided to stop writing X-Men or stop making movies about mutants, I might riot.” “Yeah, love,” Lo says, “but we wouldn’t drive to Marvel and start calling them names.” Moffy wiggles in their grasp, trying to stand free of them. They’re both not ready to let go just yet. Lily gapes at Lo for a long while. Lo sighs. “Okay, maybe I would.”
I drop to my knees in front of the only girl I’ve ever loved. And I live in the fucking moment with her.
“You’re asking me to cut myself off at the knees.” I’ve always lived to ascend. As a kid, it was the only thing that would grind at my bones, that called me to wake up, that pushed me to go. I have never gone a year without climbing since. It motivated me. It challenged me. It’s a part of me. The way I go at life, I go at it like a climber would—self-disciplined, aggressive, tenacious, persistent. It is a part of me. But I sit here, and I know. It’s not my greatest love. It’s not why I woke up today. It’s not what will grind at my bones tomorrow. It won’t push me to go in a year.
“Have you ever loved something? Not someone, but something.” “Whiskey.” I glower. “Drinking’s not a hobby.” Though for Lo, maybe it was. “It’s a thing,” he snaps. I shake my head at him. “When you love something so much, it feels impossible to let it go. It’s like a kid. Can you understand that?” It’s a part of me, Lo. Please fucking hear me.
She’s my fucking sun, and even though she’s set tonight, she means nothing less to me. I love her just as fucking madly.
Lo sets a firm hand on my shoulder. “Pardon my brother, we both suffer from the same hereditary disease called being a dick. Assholes Anonymous couldn’t even cure us.” He gives him a half-smile that says, good fucking bye.
“He’s my friend. He’s staying with me.” The subtext beneath his declaration hits me harder than it could anyone else. Connor is vouching for me after I punched a man at his party, meaning that he values me above his reputation. Above these people. His company. His money. I never, not in a million fucking years, thought I meant that much to him.
Lily gasps. “I’m not pregnant,” she whispers excitedly. Then she jumps and does a little dance, her butt shaking a lot.
I set my hands on my hips, and I say tearfully, “Will you scream with me?” Without hesitation, Ryke easily climbs onto the counter. He has to lower his head to avoid hitting the ceiling. He stares down at me, his hands sliding against my cheeks.
“You ready, Calloway?” “Yes,” I breathe. And we both scream. All the darkness rippling out of me.
Lily scoots against my side and she says, “Cake fixes everything, remember?” I smile through my tears. I remember. “Thank you,” I whisper. How silly, to think my sisters would forget about me. They haven’t. Not in a long, long time.
sir, do you know if there are chickens at this zoo?” I ask like I’ve never met him in my life. Ryke lowers his broody gaze down upon me. “You want to see a fucking chicken?” “Yeah.” I try hard not to smile. “I’m a big fan of cocks.”
