The Girl He Used to Know

by Tracey Garvis Graves

I know that after all this time—and all we’ve been through—we’re supposed to hug.

I tell myself it’s not fair to do this to him, that I’ve done enough already.

Such is my desire to replace the memories of the girl he used to know with the woman I’ve become.

Animals and books sustained me, but chess gave me the opportunity to be a part of something. When I played the game, I almost fit in.

Probably because no one has ever loved me as fiercely and unconditionally as she did.

“She marched to the beat of an entirely different band. One you’ve never heard of and under no circumstances ever expected to like.”

She lives in a bubble where nothing takes her out of her comfort zone, and everything is within her reach.

Relatable! Delco comfort zone

the pain follows you around until one day, it doesn’t.

Like all pain. It hurts hurts hurts until one day you realize you went an entire day without hurt.

“Changing how you deal with something is not the same thing as changing who you are as a person.

The thought of piloting thousands of pounds of metal terrified me,

Every one of my students

I couldn’t handle the overstimulation and would need hours of silence to counteract the noise.

Once again, he’d removed every obstacle in my way as if he’d known exactly what to do to make me comfortable.

I wondered if I would always need someone to take care of me.

All my life, I’d been waiting for someone I could be myself with. It had never occurred to me that I could be that person for someone else.

But then I remembered that no one can make me feel inferior without my consent.”

I was never able to articulate why I didn’t want to cut it. It just felt right to me the way it was.

MM

“Sometimes it’s important to let the people we care about know that a single incident doesn’t have to define them.

sharing painful things that had happened to me was one of the ways I strengthened the bond I had with Jonathan.

Sherry leans toward Annika and squeezes her hand. “It’s okay, I’ve got a nephew who’s a lot like you.” For possibly the first time in our lives, Annika and I share the exact same shocked expression. Hers soon gives way to mortifying embarrassment, and she gets up from the table and rushes from the dining room.

We try so hard to play parts. Annika felt she failed at her role.

“I’m so sorry,” Sherry says. “Maybe I shouldn’t have had that last glass either. I wasn’t thinking.” “It’s okay. It’s just not something she talks much about.” Not even to me.

“I try so hard to fit in. I spend hours studying appropriate behaviors.”

Don’t we all

will never get it right! Do you know what that’s like? It’s the most frustrating thing in the world.”

“It’s like everyone around you has a copy of the script of life, but no one gave it to you so you have to go in blind and hope you can muddle your way through. And you’ll be wrong most of the time.”

“I’ve known that since the day you introduced me to your dad.” “You’ll regret it. A lifetime with me. A family with me. You’ll get more than you bargained for the same way my mom did.”

Janice is the only one who ever taught me anything about real life.”

Reflects her mother

I had to take you out, keep you here with me where I knew you’d be safe.” My mom had never spoken to me using such language before, and

“I started preparing you for life outside these four walls from the day you were born. I did what I thought was right, and I did it until I couldn’t do it anymore because there was no more. You were ready and the only way to help you was to send you out into the world. Do you think I wasn’t scared? Do you think I wanted to put your welfare in the hands of an eighteen-year-old girl? Someone who was essentially a stranger to us both?”

Now my mother and I were both wiping our eyes. The amount of gratitude I felt toward Janice and what she’d done to get me through college was immeasurable.

Life isn’t easy for anyone. We all have challenges. We all face adversity. It’s how we overcome it that makes us who we are.”

could only address the here and now and would have to worry about the rest later.

I am not equipped for this. No one is equipped for this.