10,000 Hours With A Rich Menace (Caselli Family, #1)

by Jahquel J.

It was funny that she said I would be late for my own funeral, and I was on time for hers.

Long faded from the world where I was. My mind wouldn’t allow me to believe that she was gone. It told me she was napping, and I needed to continue to prepare dinner for her. My heart nor my mind couldn’t take my mother being gone.

My father stood there unsure of what to do or what to say. He should have said sorry. Sorry for not being there as a husband or a father. Sorry for stringing a woman as great as my mother along for years, knowing that he had no intentions of being a good person, husband, or father.

It had been five years since I buried her, and nothing ever got easier. The more I tried, the harder everything seemed to be. Life was such a push and pull, and I couldn’t figure out the lesson in all of this.

“Okay,” I agreed, hoping that my mother would show up this time and give me a sign I needed to make a decision like this. I guess no sign was a sign to go and enjoy my life for once.

However, I did what I had to do to make sure they were good. I can’t say that I would ever change things because then they wouldn’t be where they were now. I’d be the bad guy and wear the scars if that meant they could have the life that wasn’t given to me.

My father isn’t around to help her, and she is our grandmother. Aren’t you supposed to accept older people for who they are?” “Yeah and also leave them where the fuck they have you fucked up at. I refuse to ever help that woman, and I hope you see how toxic she is.”

I didn’t take my virginity lightly; it was something that should have been given to someone special.

I saw what sex could do to a person and it put me off from ever wanting a man to get that side of me. I’ve been on plenty of dates, even dated men for longer than a month, and none of them gave me that feeling I wanted to feel. The feeling that the man I was about to connect souls with was my person. Someone that would protect and care about me. I got nothing with the men these days because they all behaved like horny teenagers.

I was an introvert and most times I lived in my own head and found comfort there.

As I settled on the train home, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed. It wasn’t that I didn’t want love, I craved having actual love. I wanted someone to choose me and make me feel whole. I wanted to give myself to someone and know that I was theirs and they would protect me.

If I learned one thing about my uncle, it was to trust no one. That was easy for me because I was naturally fucking paranoid, which is why I stayed to myself.

The thought of finding a woman to share my space with and produce a child with sounded like fucking torture. They should have just whooped my ass and tossed me in a cage. Scooting my ass across hot coal sounded more pleasing than having to be nice to some bitch that I didn’t want, just to produce a child and give her my last name.

It was always we had a fucking problem, and never Menace we got you a gift for being great.

I spent most of my time alone, aside from when Jeffie was around. How the fuck was I supposed to open my heart and allow someone in? Shit sounded impossible.

I wasn’t the most pleasant brother growing up, and I had did some shit that some of them would never forgive me for. I always moved in love because I wanted to protect them. They never saw that part though; it was always me being the bad guy – ruining their lives.

As much as I admired my friend, I could also point out that she was very motivated by men. Men were her entire life, and that wasn’t my reality. I didn’t need a man to live. The one man that should have been there for me never was.

I had only experienced love when it was broken, never when it was whole. Never when it felt like an old school song. The heartbreak is what I witnessed; the disappointment of the person you vowed to do life with.

I wanted to feel this warm, this safe, and this relaxed for the rest of my life. The thought of returning home back to the hustle and bustle of my life made me cringe and my jaw clench. My life wasn’t all bad, I just didn’t know what was next for me.

“I should have been smarter and listened… sometimes it’s easier to turn my brain off. I can’t explain it, but I like living in my bubble… I’m happy there.”

You know how the most outrageous things happen to someone, and you joke and say that would happen to me because wild things always happened to you? That would be me in this moment. Crazy things always happen to me, and I always just roll with the punches, and make the best out of them.

I know life hasn’t been easy for you since you lost your mom, Stevie. Don’t think about how long you’ll be married, look at it as a way to reset. Focus on you and the things that you love… reinvent Stevie and find that spark again. Yeah, sure, you’re sharing a home with a stranger, but I can assure you that you’re safe with him.”

I remember when I was fucking Kim and she strung her arms around my neck, I nearly head butted her for doing something so stupid and out of the norm for our situation. Even thinking about the shit now had me wanting to call her, invite her over here, so I could headbutt the shit out of her for trying that shit with me.

“Jesus, what did I get myself into?” she spoke out loud. “He’s not that bad… aside from the weird rules and full sanitizing mist to enter the house. You can live with that, right?” “I’m not bad at all. You’re the one talking to yourself and then answering yourself, Wonder.” I made my presence known and she shot up in the bed, her wild hair all over her head. Her curls were thick and full, perfect coils that framed her face. She quickly put her glasses on as she looked across the room at me sitting in the seating area. “Were you watching me sleep?” “I was.”

“All I wanted was a vacation. It’s been so long since I’ve been on one… not since my mother passed away. Life has been so up and down… I have my high moments and then the low moments are so low that it makes me think what is life for anyway,”

“Wonder, the minute you let another nigga touch you is the moment you gonna see why they call me Menace.”

A lot happened today, so we didn’t need to sit and discuss anything. When I woke up this morning, I didn’t think that I would be welcoming a woman that stole from me into my home. Stranger shit has happened… I guess.

I was the kind of person that never sat still for long. Sitting still for too long forced me to think, and I didn’t like my thoughts all the time. They weren’t a safe space for me all the time. It was better to keep myself busy.

“Wonder, why the fuck were you crying?” “Personal.” “I’m gonna be your husband. Don’t you think I should know your personal shit?”