It just happened so suddenly. I'm mad at myself for losing control. Mad at myself for hating how much I place my own value in her. Mad for hating the way she makes me believe I'm not as bad of a monster as I think I am. I hate that she sees good in me when I know there's none. But furious that sometimes I let myself indulge in that thought, believing it briefly. Everything is so different in her eyes. She's too trusting, too quick to search for good. That's what's landed her in trouble before. I don't want her to be so complacent. She needs to hate me. I need her to hate me.
