More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
“That man,” he said, but his voice broke, so he stopped and tried again. “That man hurt you. I couldn’t protect you from him then, but I can now, and I refuse—” He paused again and swallowed. “I refuse.”
“Someday I will have to watch you marry another man, and it will be far easier to do if I never fuck you.”
Zahariev That was a lie. It was never going to be easy.
I glanced at Zahariev. “You’re such a daddy.” “You only get to call me that when you behave,” he said.
“I know what she deserves,” I said. “I’m just not sure she wants it.” You act like this has to mean something, she’d said the night Esther died. Sex can just be sex. “Maybe she doesn’t think that’s possible with you,” said Gabriel. I ground my teeth. That was exactly what she thought, because it was true, but I would break every rule for her if she said she wanted more.
“There you are.” I looked up as Macarius approached, brows drawn. I was confused because there was a familiarity to his words we didn’t have, considering I had just been introduced to him. “I’ve been looking for you,” he said. “Your father wants to speak to you.”
Ew, gross Rhys!
“I don’t see how my relationship with Zahariev concerns you, Mr. Caiaphas,” I said. “I think it’s my right to ask my future wife if she’s fucking the head of the Zareth family, don’t you think?”
“Why did you leave?” His voice cracked. I straightened, refusing to cower. “I left because your beloved archbishop raped me,” I said. “I left because you never once considered that maybe the reason I’d wavered in my faith was because the man in charge of it had touched me. I left because I didn’t trust you to protect me. You never have. Not from Mom, not from the church, and not from this fucking world.”
“You want me to do something about it?” he asked. “You can’t,” I said. “Not without starting a war.” “I would go to war for you,” he said. I ceased breathing, thinking that I’d misheard him. I pulled back and met his gaze. He was usually so composed, but there was something unfiltered in the way he looked at me now—a raw confession of devotion. “What did you say?” His mouth lifted in a soft half smile as he swept his thumb over the edge of my lips. “I would go to war for you,” he said again. “I would fight endlessly to keep you if that’s what you wanted.”
“I am not worth everything you would lose, Zahariev,” I said. “You are worth it,” he said. “But I’ll wait until you ask.”
Slowly, I lifted my head to see that the windows of my childhood home had been blown out and there was a gaping hole where my father’s study had once been. The explosion had been a bomb.
Oh shit! Father assassinated
“Are you asking about your mother and father?” “Everyone,” I said. “The families, their children?” “They were gone, Lilith,” Zahariev said. “When the power went out, Lisk messaged the families to return to their districts.” It took a moment for those words to settle. “I was supposed to die,” I said.
“You are so quick to jump to the conclusion that I am not on your side. When have I not chosen you?”
Beware the serpent and his poisonous tongue. He will take your flesh on the steps of your altar. He will lie in your crimson blood. Beware the deceiver and his silver tongue. He will turn your temple into his monument. Beware the awakening, the heat of this fire. It will bind you beneath bleeding gates.
Hold me tighter, Zahariev, she’d said. If I did, could I keep her from breaking?
“You are such a brat,” he said, his eyes locked on my lips. “I think you like it,” I said. I braced my hands against the bed, using the leverage to inch closer. “I think it makes you hard.” “I like it,” he said. “You know what makes me harder? When you obey.”
What does Lilith call them? Demon blobs?” “Yeah,” I said. Fucking demon blobs.
Lol demon blobs 😂
My mother did everything Lisk asked, believed everything he said. He would never risk losing such a devout follower, especially one with magic. If anything, he would have protected her. Another thought occurred to me, though I tried to push it out of my mind. I decided maybe, if I said it out loud, it would go away. “Do you think she did it?” I asked. “Do you think she planted the bomb?”
“If I were a coward, I would have walked away from you a long time ago.”
“You don’t think you are under my skin?”
“You don’t think I carry you wherever I go? You are unshakable. A menace. Sometimes, I think I would do anything to fuck it out of you, this goddamn defiance, even though it won’t work. Even though it’s what I adore most about you. I guess I just think it would be fun to try.”
“Who made you the boss?” I asked as he kneeled on the floor beside the bed. “In this room,” he said, jerking me toward him, “I’m always the boss of you.”
“How many times have you gotten off to the thought of me?” I asked. “More than you could count,”
“I love the way you say my name,” he said. “Only when I’m begging though, right?” “No,” he said, staring down at me. “I love it all the time, even when you’re pissed. Especially when you’re pissed. It makes me hard. It makes me want to fuck you.”
That was when I realized I was wrong, that there was no difference between what I wanted and what I would choose. The answer had always been Zahariev.
“I’d follow you anywhere.”
Holy woman, Mother of the dark world, Hold tight to your anguish, carry it deep Revel in the burn, that sweet agony Make your mark and open your mouth, Fill the night with your sacred screams Shatter the earth and never know peace.
“Do you think we’re wrong?” I asked after a quiet moment. I whispered the words, feeling too guilty to speak them any louder. “No, baby girl,” he said. “Nothing’s ever wrong when it’s love.”
At first, I thought the archbishop had all his books rebound to match, green with gilded spines, but when I took one from the shelf, I discovered they were just bound, solid wood.
Lol
She will ascend from the womb of her enemy, A temptress cloaked in night, a nightmare bound in chains. Her cries will rattle the earth. Her blood will break the gates.
“This book has had several authors,” I said. “And these are all channeled messages. As far as I’m aware, no matriarch has the ability to speak to entities beyond the gates, which means Lisk is using witches.”
I’d expected Lisk, but the other three families? They’d turned on my father, Zahariev, and their districts in their plot to end the world.
It was languid and lovely, and while I didn’t want it to end, I really needed something to drink and maybe a pizza. Zahariev chuckled, kissing my forehead before he sat up and brought me with him.
Is he reading her mind?
“You are such a fucking brat,” he said. “You like it,” I said. “I do,” he agreed, grasping my jaw and pulling me close. “But next time, I’m going to fuck you like I don’t.”
The gate began to tremble, as if someone were pounding on it from the other side. The cracks deepened, and from them, a thick pinkish substance oozed, dripping to the ground. Somehow, I knew the name. Melam, it was called. It was the magic of the Elohim. The magic of the gods.
“I think the Order of the Serpent’s precious gods are sending their magic into our world,” I said, pausing, brows lowering as I recalled more of my dream. “I saw them, the gods, but there were more than just two. They were basically a race of giants. They had this aura around them they could call up at will, and it would brighten until I felt hypnotized, like they were inside my mind. It’s not so different from the demons.”
“They can have it,” he said. “So long as I can have you. Only if you agree, of course.”
“What does it mean? To be yours?” I asked. He smiled softly. “Whatever you want,” he said. “I’ll always be here, following in your shadow. I am not afraid of your freedom.”
“Cleaning?” “It’s better if you don’t ask,” I said. It took him a moment before he realized what I was saying. “Oh no,” he said. “Fuck that. I call shotgun. I’m not sitting in your bodily fluids.” “You won’t,” I said, glaring. “That’s why I’m cleaning.” “Still can’t do it,” he said. “It’s just…ghost come then. If you can see it with a black light, it’s not gone, Zahariev.”
Lol
A flash of light filled my vision. I didn’t know where it came from, but it was like blacking out, and when I came to, I was in the middle of shooting Uriah’s weapon.
Anticlimactic
“She was a faithful member of the Order of the Serpent. She will be pleased to know her sacrifice has led to this moment. Tonight, we forge the Deliverer and release the gods from behind the Seventh Gate.” Was she trying to tell me that she was part of the Order of the Serpent?
Her mother?!
“I never set out to be a mother,” she said. “But I was chosen by the Order of the Serpent to carry the sacrifice. They warned you would be a nightmare, a fault of your bloodline, but I confess, I wasn’t prepared for you.”
She was prophesied?
“Lucius had no role in your conception. You were made from my blood and the blood of the Invader. You were made…to fulfill a prophecy.”
She will ascend from the womb of her enemy, A temptress cloaked in night, a nightmare bound in chains. Her cries will rattle the earth. Her blood will break the gates.
“Your blood is the only important thing about you. You have never been nor will you ever be anything more than a sacrifice.”
“You’re something else, little love,” he said in grim wonder. It was only then that I became aware of the heaviness against my back. I turned my head and reached, touching what felt like wet skin over bone.
Wings!
Then I realized what I was staring at. Wings. Bony, membranous wings.
The only creatures with wings were angels, and they were not like this.
“I don’t fucking believe it,” he said, racing into the room. He was wide-eyed and breathless. “The statues. The watchers. They’re fucking real. There are archangels in our city.”
They will call her a demon, but I watched her transform, and I will call her goddess.
