I wanted to reach out and take his hand, but the lines were so blurred now. Would he accept that small comfort, or would he laugh and spit in my face? I had my own defenses in play. My walls were just as tall as his and just as thick. I didn’t know if I’d survive that kind of rejection if he turned around and mocked me for thinking I could be any kind of support to him. Courage, I thought to myself. And also, fuck him. If he showed cruelty in the face of kindness, then he deserved to be miserable and alone. I drew in a deep breath, and was about to reach for him, when— “Why haven’t you said
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