Practice tuning in and communicating. Sensate focus is a classic sex therapy practice. Person number one touches person number two head to toe for about fifteen minutes. Person two is relaxing into the touch and is giving some gentle feedback, either verbally or nonverbally. Now the giver of the touch becomes the receiver, then the receiver becomes the giver, and it’s repeated a number of times. The next stage includes breast and genital touch, but the goal is not to create arousal or orgasm; the goal is relaxing, tuning in, and communicating. We know that sensate focus is useful for most
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