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Taunting him, I ease closer. “What did she do, Dutch? Did she take off with your car? Or your wallet? Or maybe your black hole of a heart?” His lips are thinning out and steam is rising from his preppy shirt. Alarm bells go off in my head, screaming bloody murder. I keep going because, apparently, I love poking angry lions. “Or,” my chest brushes his, “did she find out that you’re a scared little boy who plays games and trashes lockers instead of having a conversation about what the hell he really wants.”
Because the truth is that Dutch Cross owns everything in Redwood Prep, but he can’t ever own me. Not the ‘me’ he really wants. And it’s such a power trip that I’m practically tripping out of my skin.
Immediately, the tension slices in two and I wrench away from him. He lets me go, but the flush in his cheeks and the tightness of his pants tells me I wasn’t the only one affected by… whatever that was.
Because after everything he’s done and all the ways he’s ruined my life, I just can’t help that I’m drawn to him.
I’m losing my patience with her and it’s not because I want to break her. I want her under me, sweating, vibrating, groaning for mercy. Not that I’ll give her any. Not that she deserves it.
I shake my head angrily. I’m supposed to be thinking of ways to kick her out, not dreaming up ways to screw her.
I can’t explain it. It’s like the girl from the showcase is in front of me. Then Cadence will open her mouth and I’ll realize that it’s not my muse. It’s the most infuriating girl in Redwood Prep. Even so, my body can’t differentiate between the two and I keep getting this uncontrollable urge to back her up against the nearest wall and kiss her senseless. My body’s never betrayed me like this. It’s frustrating as hell and I can’t blame it on the redhead anymore.
Every time she pushes my buttons, I find myself going wild. It’s as if I’m falling off a cliff and the rope is slipping out of my fingers. I’m dangerous. She makes me dangerous.
“You’re the one who’s supposed to be getting under her skin, Dutch. It shouldn’t work both ways.”
It’s torture to be so close to him. To want him and hate him at the same time. Now that I’ve admitted to my dark craving, I can’t look Dutch in the eyes. Just in case he figures out that I’m more messed up than he is.
“Screw you,” I hiss. His smirk is sinister and makes my body throb in the worst way. “You keep begging for it and I just might, Brahms.” I stop struggling immediately.
The car suddenly lurches to a stop. Finn almost smacks his face into the headrest.
“Don’t think of the crowd. Imagine it’s just you and me, hm?
This time, the hand he closes around me is patient. Slowly, Dutch rubs circles on my wrist as if to calm my racing pulse.
“Don’t look at them, Brahms.” He leads me through the door. “Look at me. Keep looking at me.”
My arms encircle Cadey’s waist and I breathe in her scent. I want the hug to last longer, but she pulls back and a conflicted look passes through her brown eyes. Then, as if she’s made up her mind about something, an uncomfortable grin touches her lips.
The possessiveness takes me by surprise. So what if Zane hugs Cadence? It doesn’t matter to me. She doesn’t matter to me.
What they don’t know is how much of tonight’s music I enjoyed simply because Cadence was there with her stupid triangle.
My head’s a mess and it’s all her fault. When I saw her walk out of the changing room wearing that silky black dress, her mouth all glossy and pink… I nearly busted a vein.
Every nerve in my body is alive from her touch.
Everything about her affected me. The way her rack spilled out of the top. The way she chewed on her glossy mouth when she realized where we were going. The way she kept playing with her earrings. I shouldn’t be thinking about her. But there’s… I don’t know. There’s something there.
I’ve felt a ton of dark feelings in my life, but the ones that are currently thrumming inside me are the most frightening because I have no right to them. Not with Cadence.
Say I do walk in and cut off that guy from talking to Cadence? Then what? I don’t want her for myself. She’s not the girl I care about.
The connection I feel with the redhead is real. Every time I think I’ve got a hold on myself, I hear her play and she wrenches something out of the deepest, darkest parts of me. But I can’t pretend that Cadence isn’t getting under my skin too.
Our best friend gazes at us with wide brown eyes. Then he leaps off the bed and attacks Finn and Zane in a two-armed hug. “Bastards,” Sol says, his voice cracking.
There’s a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and I don’t know if it’s out of guilt for what I’ve already done or for what I’m about to do.
“No, I don’t like Dutch.” At least not the Dutch that got Mulliez kicked out. Or insinuated that I was sleeping with a teacher. Or ruined my locker, destroyed my keyboard, and treated me like absolute crap. But the Dutch that stood up for me in the cafeteria and pushed me to face my fears is… well, a different story. I’m not against that Dutch. I’d actually like to see more of that Dutch around.
Dutch shoves his cup at Zane. When he turns around and faces me, his expression is thunderous. I shiver in fear. He looks pissed. My alarm bells start ringing and I back up a step. Dutch goes straight for me. My heart bucks when I read his intentions. “Don’t you dare, Dutch.”
“Don’t you remember, Brahms? As long as you’re at Redwood Prep, you belong to me.” “I belong to no one.” “That’s where you’re wrong, Cadey.” His amber eyes are glowing. “You. Belong. To. Me.” “Sorry to burst your sadistic little bubble, Dutch, but I’m not your property. You don’t get to just,” my voice climbs as my temper explodes, “boss me around.” “That’s exactly what I can and will do,”
But I realize something when I see his emotions laid bare. He’s fallible. Vulnerable. Human. He’s fighting with me, yeah, but he’s really fighting with himself. The scars are all over him from the vein bulging out of his neck to the flare of his nostrils.
“You act like you own all of Redwood Prep, but you’re so afraid of me. So afraid to tell me what I did to you. Why do you hate me so much?” He turns away, his jaw flexing. “Do you really think you’re impressive for tormenting someone like me? You run around making my life hell and for what? What could a poor girl like me possibly have that the big bad wolf of Redwood Prep has to take from her?”
Instead of answering, Dutch stares me down. His eyes are tormented. It’s like I’m watching him being torn in two.
“Why are you wearing this dress?” It’s not a question so much as it is a berating. I don’t have time to think about an answer when his lips drift on top of mine.
“I hate you.” His eyes burn. “Is that why you were whimpering my name three seconds ago?”
“Even if I screwed you tonight, it wouldn’t have meant anything,” Dutch says as if he needs to clarify to himself more than me.
so I don’t think about the girl who’s really on my mind. Or girls. Plural. Because I’ve got a freaking bug for the both of them. Whatever the hell that means.
Just a few minutes ago, Cadence was in here screaming bloody murder at me. And a few minutes before that, she was whimpering my name like a damn tease. Maybe it was a bad idea to bring Christa into the same room. “I’m done.”
Which tells me that Cadence has me more messed up in the head than I’d thought. Damn.
When I saw her on the dance floor, something inside me went dark. I hauled her upstairs to give her the money. I told myself I wasn’t going to kiss her. Wasn’t going to touch her. Guess what? I kissed her. I touched her. And I wanted more.
I thought I could screw Cadence out of my system. But every time I close my eyes, it’s her face that’s tattooed behind my eyelids. Not Redhead’s. Not Christa’s. Hers. I’m royally screwed.
my reputation precedes me.
I keep seeing taylor. Stop ittttt
Something about her makes me break all my rules.
“She probably didn’t want to take the money from you.” He frowns. “I told you we should have sent Zane to talk to her instead.” “That was the plan until our resident caveman here backed her upstairs.” Zane rolls his eyes at me. “I saw an opportunity and went for it.” “Nah.” Zane takes a sip of his beer. “You saw another man touching her and you lost it. There’s a difference.”
I have no freaking clue when she started getting to me, but it’s in a different way than Redhead. I willingly gave that pianist a piece of me. With Brahms, I didn’t want her to barge in. Didn’t ask for it. I’m fighting it with every breath in my body. Every muscle, every nerve. Every vein.
My brothers might have fallen for Brahms’ spell, but if I’m the only one standing, so be it. I’ll burn it all down to end this. Even if that means I have to burn myself down with her.
As I approach the pool, alarm bells start ringing in my head. I never learned to swim, so I keep a healthy distance from this death trap.
I take a step toward the door when a shuffling sound comes from behind me. Before I can turn around, two hands slam into my back. I scream and tumble forward. On instinct, I throw my arms out, struggling to keep upright. But I can’t regain my balance. I hit the water with a smack, sinking fast. Panic fills my body. I claw my arms through the water, fighting to reach the surface. My kicking and thrashing produces a ton of bubbles, but it doesn’t push me up. Instead, it feels like I’m sinking faster. Deeper. Deeper. I can’t breathe. My lungs are burning. Save me. Someone save me.
I was the idiot who believed Dutch. I was the one who put myself in the middle of his dangerous game. Please. The fight in me starts to weaken. I’m feeling more and more exhausted. Although I’m putting all my effort into flailing my arms and legs, it’s just not working. The truth hits me in the face. I’m going to die. Here. At Redwood. Alone.
My only thought is of my sister and who will take care of her when I’m gone. I’m sorry, Vi. I wish I’d never come to Redwood. Darkness steals over my vision, robbing me of my anger and the last of my breath.
“Move!” I yell, blasting through the crowd that’s scattering in front of me. Kids turn and give me wide-eyed stares. The hell? Don’t they understand the words coming out of my mouth? “Out of the way!”
