If This Was a Movie (Evergreen Park #2)

by Morgan Elizabeth

Ashlyn, the doll I got on a whim when she broke her arm nearly a year ago. She’s barely let it out of her sight since, changing her outfit daily and brushing her hair diligently to take care of her “best friend.” My daughter doesn’t know I have four dolls I rotate every few days, in case she loses one, so they’ll all wear similarly, and two more in the box.

that’s actually so smart wtf

You can never be too prepared when it comes to a toy your child has determined is the reason for them to continue living.

“Sophie Donovan. I live on 6 Auburn Avenue, Evergreen Park, New Jersey,” she says, and I run my hand over my face with a groan.

no cause kids truly do this waaaaay to easily 💀

“I want my dad to marry the real-life Ashlyn and make her my mom.”

SOPHIE 💀

“It’s easier to relate to, and there’s always a happily ever after. The world is chaos and full of disappointment and heartbreak. I like living in the fantasy of that, that two people could meet and go on some grand adventure and fall in love and ride off into the sunset.”

“Plus, if you think of every bad moment as a plot twist, everything seems less…consequential. Then you can be excited, waiting to find out what happens next instead of stressing about it.”

“I’d love nothing more than to ring in the new year with you, Jules,” he says, voice low, eyes filled with promise.

I need one person on this planet to explain to me why we don’t have classes in high school to teach us about the important things in life, like how to do your taxes, assemble IKEA furniture, or, apparently, drip your water lines during a cold snap.

“I want…I want to be loved madly. I want to live a movie-worthy life and wake up knowing every single day it’s my reality. I want to find someone I wake up every morning excited to spend time with. I want someone who loves everything about me, even the parts I don’t like. Some people in my life…they think I’m being crazy, that I’m being unrealistic, and that’s fine. I know one day, I’ll find it, even if it takes a lifetime. I refuse…I refuse to settle for less than I deserve.”

I sigh before turning to Sloane. “The only kind of help I need right now is a fucking lobotomy,” I mumble under my breath.

girl same

Then I’m opening the door to the diner, the noise tumbling out onto the street as we enter so I can get my girls fed.

MY GIRLS IM SCREAMING

This is why men are only good when they’re fictional. Because in the real world, they’re always a fucking disappointment.

“And Jules? There hasn’t been a single day in three hundred and thirty-two days when I haven’t thought of you. What you look like, how you made me feel, how you taste. I won’t fuck this up this time.”

“I bought the syrup the day you left my place. Never had a reason to use it, though.” I continue to stare, unsure of how to respond before he fumbles on his words, shaking his head as if my scrutiny means something it doesn’t. “A few months ago, I replaced them. They’re not expired or anything.” Somehow, this shocks me even more. “You replaced them?” “I, uh…” He puts a hand on the back of his neck, holding it there and looking at the mug with a small pink handprint on it in front of me. “I figured I’d make sure they were fresh. Just in case.”

He’s kept the syrups I like for my coffee in his house for a year just in case I made my way back into his home. A year of remembering how I like my coffee after barely two nights together.

“Are you staying for breakfast?” she asks, leaning back. “If your dad says it’s okay,” I say, looking at Nate, who shrugs. “Oh, he doesn’t mind. He’s in love with you. He told me! Do you like cereal?” she says like she didn’t just drop a bomb on me.

“Oh, and Jules?” He looks at me, and I don’t respond, but he still knows I’m listening somehow. “Unblock me, okay?”

“Anyone can be brave if they want it bad enough, Jules. You know what I say: Shoulders back, tits out, bitch. You were born for big things.”

It’s like she wants me to tell her I went out of my way this afternoon to find every streaming service I could, make fifteen different accounts, and then hook them up to the television in hopes I could maybe possibly convince her to spend a few hours with me, even if we’re on opposite sides of the couch and neither of us makes a sound. Which is exactly what I did, of course.

“You were never just some chick I hooked up with, Jules, and you know that. You were always more. So much more, I didn’t understand it at the time. But then my daughter ran to you on a crowded street, as if she knew too, like she could feel the pull of you to us.”

I lied, I hung up the mistletoe. And it was so fucking worth it.

NAAAAAAAAAAAATE

“I’m totally crazy for you, Jules. Whatever version, whatever bits of you you’re willing to share,” I whisper.

“If I fall, I could get hurt. Really, really hurt, Nate.” I’ll take it. I shake my head. “I’ll always catch you.”

It’s a moment out of the movies, and in it, I realize I’ll do whatever it takes to make her entire life like this: a series of movie-worthy events to take her breath away.

*insert the girl w the finger guns to her head meme*

“Are you asking for courting tips, Nate?” “Absolutely. I’m man enough to admit I want to make sure I don’t fuck this up with you. If this was a movie, what would be the next step?”

“I’m taking your lead. I want more—so much more—but I’m not going there until you’re sure. I get that you’re scared, and that means I’ll stand here every day until that fear goes away. I’ll wait for you to be as sure as I am. I’m in this for the long run. I know what a year without you felt like after I found you the first time and I didn’t like it. I’m not making the same mistake twice.”

And as I walk back toward my truck, I can’t help but smile to myself when I hear a girlish squeal from her car.

“Save that idea for later, yeah? Let’s go get our girl.”

OUR GIRL 😭😭😭😭😭😭

“I don’t know if you’ve ever let yourself live, baby. But I’m trying to get past your wall so I can make sure you do. I’m trying to make sure from here on out, you live. I want you to chase your dreams and get your happy ending. And do it scared because you know I’ll be there, ready to catch you if you slip. But I can’t do that if you keep hiding, if you keep denying you’re mine.”

“All I ask is that you talk to me, Jules. You’re allowed to feel the way you do, there’s nothing wrong with that. But when you’re scared, I want you to talk to me. If you’re confused, you talk to me. We can do almost anything, so long as we talk it through.”

“Tell me you love me, Jules. I want to hear it when it’s not in the heat of the moment and we’re arguing.” I take in a deep breath, my heartbeat picking up with nerves. “But only if you feel it. Only if you’re ready. If you’re not, I’ll wait,” he adds hesitantly, picking up on those nerves.

I swipe at it, then slide open the box, grabbing the ring before moving to one knee. Jules gasps even though I know she’s already put together what’s happening. Sophie squeals with excitement, stomping her little feet and probably terrifying her new cat, but my eyes are on Jules. Like they always are.

“You want to be loved madly, and I am absolutely crazy about you, baby. I want to make every single day movie-worthy for you. I want you to make Sophie’s Christmas wish come true: become my wife, become her mom. I want to convince you to give her a brother or sister or maybe two.”

“But I love you. I love you so damn much, Jules, it’s insane. I know to my soul that you were meant to be mine and that there was always some string tying us together. Even when we tried to ignore it, it pulled me to you, and I’m so fucking grateful it did. I’m so grateful you were in that bar on New Year's. That your pipe broke and that Claire was moving out. That Sophie made that wish, and all the pieces fell into place until we found each other again.”

“Let me love you madly. Let me make your life a fantasy. Let me give you the fairy tale ending you deserve. So, Jules, will you marry me?”

“If this was a movie, I think this is where you guys would kiss,” Sophie says, breaking Jules from her reverie as she laughs out loud through the tears, swatting playfully at her. But I take our daughter's advice, putting a hand on each side of Jules’s face and pulling her toward me, pressing my lips to hers as we start our own happily ever after.