Say You'll Remember Me

by Abby Jimenez

“I can’t have you killing yourself for this relationship,”

“I will never leave you,” she whispered. “I just wish this wasn’t so hard.”

“I love our fantasy life,” she said softly. “The one where we have goats and a garden and we can wake up together and be a witness to each other’s lives. And maybe we have kids and they’re playing in the yard

and we get unlimited memories. We just get to open our eyes and make them, every day.”

“I’d like to look back on my life and remember every single thing. But if I don’t, I hope I remember that it was a love story. And that the love story was about you.”

“I would trade everything for one more day with my wife. Everything. If you love that girl even half as much as I loved my Claire, you will pack your bags and leave yesterday.”

The universe doesn’t just hand out true love. And I know that’s what this is because I see you’re willing to kill yourself over it.

“I met this young man there,” he said. “Long time ago. Probably seventeen, eighteen years now. I thought about him for over a decade. Never stopped really. He came in with this collie mix, I’ll never forget her name. Winnie.”

“I… I became a vet because of you,” I breathed.

I want you to know that I am proud of you. You’re a good man. You did well. And I don’t know the whole situation—maybe you’re stalling because of everything you said. Or maybe you’re stalling for them. You have something to prove. They’re waiting to see you fail and you want them to wait forever. But she’s also waiting forever. And so are you.

I stood on the edge of the pond and looked at the koi while “Harvest Moon” played in my ears. And I thought about him. About us and all our nevers. About the life we’d never have together. The marriage that we agreed we wanted but would make no sense with our circumstances. The family we couldn’t start, the menagerie of animals we’d never adopt because I didn’t want them without him here. The nights alone, the sound of his voice through a Bluetooth speaker while dogs bark in the kennels behind him, the fading scent of his body on a hoodie I’d taken.

At first I thought maybe my flowers got delivered and Jeneva had run them out to the yard for me. But then they lowered. Xavier was standing there on the other side. I almost broke in half right then and there. I threw myself into his arms.

This was the best anniversary gift I could ever ask for. Him. His smell, the feel of his body pressed into mine, the rumble of his chest when he speaks. A gift.

“No… Xavier, please don’t play with me.” “I’m not,” he said. “You didn’t…” “Yes. I did.” I looked up at him. “But… your practice!” “I don’t care,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t care about any of it. I’m tired of waiting forever.”

This had to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done—” “No. Being without you is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I’m sorry I put you through it. I should have ended up here sooner, but I had to come to it on my own.”

“I did what I could to mitigate the damage,” he said. “I waited until my lease was up on my apartment. I sold all my furniture. Hank is going to keep working three days a week until Maggie and Tina can find new jobs and my patients can find new vets. And then I’ll liquidate what I can

“I want to stop living one flight to California at a time. I want to wake up every day and be alone in a room with you.

“I have nothing, Samantha. I don’t even have a job. I’m about to be several hundred thousand dollars in debt, I’m broke. All I have is my veterinary license, and I’m not even licensed in California yet—”

“This is a very weird way to ask me to marry you.” I watched the smile spread across his face. “Will you?” he asked, his voice a little thick. I nodded. “A thousand times yes.” He let out a relieved laugh and I jumped into his arms.

Mom was standing in the door of the gazebo watching us. She was

beaming from ear to ear. She knew. Something ingrained that told her she was seeing true love. Her heart remembering even though her brain had forgotten. She didn’t know who I was or who he was. But she still knew what love was.

Love is the brightest color in a gray world.

Hank stood in as father of the groom at the wedding. And he looked

so proud.