I stood on the edge of the pond and looked at the koi while “Harvest Moon” played in my ears. And I thought about him. About us and all our nevers. About the life we’d never have together. The marriage that we agreed we wanted but would make no sense with our circumstances. The family we couldn’t start, the menagerie of animals we’d never adopt because I didn’t want them without him here. The nights alone, the sound of his voice through a Bluetooth speaker while dogs bark in the kennels behind him, the fading scent of his body on a hoodie I’d taken.
