Fearless (The Powerless Trilogy, #3)

by Lauren Roberts

I remind her that Paedyn Gray has been my weakness since that very first dinner before the Purging Trials.

I have the eeriest feeling that I am no longer alone.

The dead are not meant to be disturbed. And I may have awakened something that no one else has dared to.

Adena’s warmth returns shyly, as though her very memory does not recognize the creature I’ve become.

I’m shaking, every part of me trembling in fear of what I’ve done. In fear of myself.

Adena’s light, however dim, is returning to my soul. I am alive. I, an Ordinary, survived a Trial. Again.

With every step, I grow closer to becoming a queen. With every step, I grow closer to a united Ilya.

need her to come back to me. She is willingly my weakness, and yet, nothing has ever made me stronger.

“If her life weren’t at stake right now, I guarantee I’d be much more fun tonight.”

Why does the future Enforcer worry for his brother’s betrothed? Is it simply due to loyalty and protection over the king? Or perhaps something far more scandalous?

reducing my feelings for Paedyn to something as juvenile as a scandal is absurdity. Only, it does not matter that every beat of my heart belongs to her. Because she does not belong to me.

This formidability is not unfamiliar to me. I’ve seen it within her since the moment she saved my life.

Her eyes meet mine, and it feels like relief.

I let her go. Let her pretend. Let her morph back into the queen she will become.

watching isn’t nearly enough. I could fall to my knees, beg to be the only one worthy of witnessing her.

I smile before she’s even done it. Wide enough to show those damn dimples she loves to hate.

“I don’t need to steal her away.” “No,” she says smoothly. “You just kick down her door when she isn’t answering you.”

“They’re engaged, Kai. You can’t have her.” “Yes, and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to accept that fact.”

I’ve never let myself bleed in front of so many Elites. Never let them see me so weak.

Kitt’s arm is a comfort, a disguised source of support that I lean on heavily.

It’s unfamiliar, his touch. So unlike the claiming feel of his brother’s.

eyes snapping to the ring still decorating my right hand. Still exactly where Kai had left it the night before my Trial. I never put it back.

I made it back to him. I lived to spend another day pretending I’m not in love with him.

“I’ve got you. I’ve got you, Pae.” I feel willingly weak with him to hold me, as if strength is a facade only needed when he is not near.

“I’ve… I’ve stained my soul again.” “Shh.” He grabs my wrists, pressing those bloody palms against his black tunic. “There. Now it’s my soul that is stained.”

“I thought you might not walk through those doors tonight. And it made me realize that I’d much rather spend the rest of my life apart from you, watching at a distance, than without you.”

“You look like someone who has just done the impossible,”

“If you look like hell,” he whispers with a sly grin, “then I’m fortunate to be going there.”

Our eyes meet, mine concerned and his far too content.

Keep your hands to yourself until she leaves,

it’s the complete opposite he...

“So much for pretending, Prince.”

“And I will happily be your distraction from pain. For as long as you need.”

“It’s not the pain I need a distraction from. It’s the memory of what I did.”

was ready to die beside Mareena in that crypt I fell into. I have never been so terrified—and I’ve spent my whole life in fear.”

I didn’t enjoy doing it.” “I know.” His gaze softens. “I wish I could have done it for you.”

“Does it ever get easier? The bad that supposedly justifies the hope of something good?”

“I don’t want to stain your soul further.” His smile is sad. “There’s not much left to stain, darling.”

“Powerful. It made me feel powerful.” “Good,” he breathes. “Focus on that feeling. Not what it took to get to it.”

“I don’t want to gain power if it means I lose myself in the process.”

“Everyone loses themselves to something. So make it worthwhile.”

“And what did you lose yourself to?” “Duty. Loyalty.” His lips quirk. “A silver-haired pain in the ass.”

“Between the two of us, you’re the only one who seems to care about that fact.”

“Look at me, Kai. Look at what you chose to lose yourself to. I may have seemed strong in that throne room, but I will always be an impostor among the truly powerful.”

“I worry about you, Malakai.” The sound of his full name has those gray eyes fluttering closed. “If I die—” “Stop.” “If I die,” I repeat sternly, “I need you to find something else worth losing yourself to.

“Pae.” His voice is ragged. “I would lose my life for you before finding something else worth living for.” His fingers weave into my hair, slide along the back of my neck. “You are my inevitable. In life and in death.”

You are my inevitable.

I love you.

He smells of pine and spice and long nights under the willow. I love you.

I say his name instead, as if I could claim him so easily. As if I’m not thinking of three damning words when I say it. I love you.