Fearless (The Powerless Trilogy, #3)

by Lauren Roberts

“You’re my cocky bastard”—I force a trembling smile—“you can’t let me win.” His gray eyes blink blearily at me. “Just… just this once.”

“But I need you.” A sob racks my body. “You’re all I h-have left. You know I need you!”

Here I am, facing déjà vu and Death himself. History repeats itself in the center of this Pit as love begins its slow death in my arms. Kai’s blood coats my palms, mirroring the moment I felt Adena’s life leak into my incapable hands. The Enforcer wears a wound in his chest, just as the seamstress before him.

if I weren’t already on my knees, I would fall to them now and beg him to stay with me.

“I can’t lose you, too. Please… please do...

“I’m sorry. I… I wish it didn’t h-have to be this way.” “Shh.” My tears splatter his face. “You’re okay, Kai. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” I squeeze his hand, hiding my sobs between each whispered syllable. “It’s just you and me. Under the willow.”

Regret washes over me for every moment spent pretending I hated them—every moment spent pretending I hated him.

I lean in, hanging on words I’ll never get to hear. Because the light leaves those gray eyes.

No this cant be happening

“Kai. Kai, come back to me.”

“No, you can’t go! You promised you wouldn’t leave me, remember?”

“I love you, Kai. I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Agony. That is this feeling. The one wrenching me in half, tearing apart my soul.

It’s a chilling scream, one that can be heard even in the highest stands. I want the arena to feel my pain, taste it on the wind that carries away the soul Kai stained for me.

I’m not even sure who I am looking at anymore. All I see are the green eyes of a murderer.

“How could you?! He was your brother!”

An arm wraps around my torn neck, pressing a damp cloth over my nose. My knees buckle beneath me. My blazing eyes roll back.

And for a short time, I know nothing. Not even the agony.

I am grief. I am sorrow. I am anguish alike.

It was just a nightmare.

Today is my third Trial. Last night was a nightmare.

I’m covered in blood. It’s staining my palms, crawling up trembling arms to wrap around my neck. Sand coats my body, covering me in a layer of grit and memory.

knowing it is not my blood that clings to them. This is my living nightmare. I scream.

“No, it was just a nightmare. Today is my Trial.” Ellie shakes her head. “I’m sorry, Paedyn.”

I held the dagger as it sunk into his chest.

She holds me as I cry. I know what it feels l...

I watch what is left of Kai drip into the water. And for the first time in weeks, I’m not repulsed by blood—in fact, I wish to cling to his.

“I don’t feel anything.”

Shes gone through too much

My entire body is numb—mind, soul, and shattered heart. I am utterly hollow without his love to fill me.

I would give anything now to have that handprint branded back onto my skin. Nothing but the mingling of my and his blood remained.

“You weren’t yourself,” she reassures. “I knew you would be scared when you woke up.” I let out a bitter scoff that has her stilling. “I wasn’t scared, Ellie. I was broken.”

“And now?” My empty gaze meets her concerned one. “I’m angry.”

I need my rage, my distraction, my king to answer for what he’s done. Because without that, I am forced to face a life he is no longer in.

I am utterly alone. There is nothing left. Not within myself or the world beyond.

Trapped in this room, I am forced to face reality. Forced to face the gaping loneliness within me. My very being is decaying, and love is the culprit. Love has killed every person I care about.

“Let me out! I can’t do this!”

I’m little more than the shell of a girl, sitting among ghosts. My father sits beside my shaking form with a comforting hand on my knee, the exact color of his eyes fading from my memory. Adena rests her head against my shoulder, crooked bangs falling into a soft, honeyed gaze.

Kai stands before me, so strong and stunning. I can almost hear his voice, the sound distantly ringing from the depths of my mind….

He’s gone. Just like everyone else. I killed him—

Our gazes meet. Smoke meeting fire; life meeting the walking dead.

I can’t seem to move, afraid this is some cruel dream, some phantom that will slip between my fingers.

Alive. He’s alive.

Thank godddd

He is so stunningly alive, and strong, and standing for the both of us.

“How are you here?” My voice is a cracked whisper. “I watched… I watched you die.”

“I don’t care.” I cup his face, my own earnest. “I don’t care so long as this is real, and you are alive.”

“This is real,” he almost laughs. “Not pretend. Not ever.”

“It destroyed me. I tried to push my way to you, but the drugs weakened me, and I just… stood there while you fought for your life. Fought me.”

“You almost died thinking it was me who killed you. Thinking that I would ever lay a hand on you again for any reason other than a caress. I told you I would never fight you again, but there I was, hurting you like I promised not to.”

“It’s not your fault. You didn’t do this.”

“It looked too real. Like I was watching myself lose control,” he finally whispers.

This is Kai alone—my fool and my love.