Fearless (The Powerless Trilogy, #3)

by Lauren Roberts

“Every brutal act is born of love.”

Damn the pretending. Damn the hiding. Damn everything but him and us and this moment where I need him.

I thought I’d known torment until it wrapped around her finger. No, torment is tangible, and it gleams atop her tanned skin. I stare, unblinking, at the symbol my brother slid onto her finger. It is binding. It is infinite. It is my undoing.

A laugh threatens to slip past my numb lips. It’s not as though she hadn’t promised to be my ruin, hadn’t already become my demise. She is the single most destructive thing I have ever desired, and yet, it is the diamond on her finger that will destroy me.

I’ve been nothing but willing when it comes to drowning in those ocean eyes. But now, I can’t fathom drowning if she is not the anchor I’m sinking with.

Why couldn’t we have just stayed in that field of poppies? I would spend the rest of my days making her flower crowns if she wanted to be a queen. My queen. Not Kitt’s. Not Ilya’s. Mine.

“You’re not supposed to touch me at all.” “But you could command me to,” I drawl. “Then I’d simply be following an order.”

I stiffen, eyes sliding down her arm to the shimmering ring choking her finger. It’s so casually been carried into this room, this conversation. The sight of that symbol here, now, possibly forever, has my chest aching. Maybe I’m even jealous of the ring. Jealous of the way it clings to her skin, feels every shiver of her body. Because that should be me.

My pace is even, hopes oddly high for one who may be sailing to their death. But I am no stranger to drowning. I’ve been doing just that since the day I looked into her ocean eyes.

“She asked if I was going to kill him.” There is a long pause wedged between us. “And are you?” “Again,” I say between clenched teeth, “you think so little of me?” “You know I do not.” My eyes flick up his rigid body. “Then you should know the answer to her question.” He looks away, crossing his arms over the broad chest beneath. “Good. Because if I have to choose between you or Kitt…” “I know,” I murmur. Tears threaten to wash away the anger I’m cowering behind. “Do you?” Those gray eyes glide over me in that way I’m certain I’ll never get used to. “Because I sure as hell don’t.”

He shuts his eyes to bask in the warm light. “Just admiring the sun.”

You think I would not beg to run away with you? My duty may be to the king, but my heart, Pae, is wherever you are. It is in the palm of your hands, the pad of your thumb. So if you leave, I will follow. If you stay, I will bow. Because there has never been a moment when you did not own the only piece of me that mattered—loving you made me matter. And I ache to be full again.

“Paedyn.” I can feel the exact moment my heart shatters. It’s when I turn, my eyes crashing into ones well memorized. When mist meets the deepest sea. When a Shadow faces its Flame. When inevitability meets its end. When I stare into the face of what it is I love most.

It’s as though Adena is dying all over again. I’m spouting the same broken words atop the very sand that was once speckled with her blood. The same crowd is leaning in, once again watching the spectacle that is my heart splitting at the seams—a tear that Adena isn’t around to stitch back together.

History repeats itself in the center of this Pit as love begins its slow death in my arms.

I am utterly hollow without his love to fill me.

“Paedyn, I love you. Like nothing else before, I love you. And I’ve been waiting to tell you since I realized your eyes are my favorite color and your freckles the only constellation worth looking at. I could lie—say that you’ve stolen my every thought and heartbeat like the thief you are, but all of me was already yours. Pae, you are my inevitable.”

“It’s him.” Kitt steps forward. “What?” “It’s Adena’s boy from Loot.” She chokes on his name. “Mak.”

I hear Paedyn’s breath catch before the murmured words that follow. “See you in the sky.” Eyes wide and rimmed with tears, she lifts her gaze to mine. “He was trying to say that in the arena. He was dying, and that was the last thing he wanted to say.”

“We never got to say goodbye to her.” Paedyn’s whispered words are not meant for our ears. “But at least we could share how much we both loved her.”

“Take care of her for me,” she whispers atop his pale skin. “Take care of her, Mak.” I almost don’t hear her final, broken whisper. “See you in the sky.”

Those we have lost walk alongside us, their memory warming our scarred hearts. We are those we loved.