Dead of Summer

by A.J. Merlin

“Well, if it makes you feel better, I never intended to kill you.” His smile is sheepish when he says it, shoulders hunching like I’ve caught him doing something oh-so-sweet. “I’d thought, maybe afterward, as long as I could keep you in the dark, that you and I could be the only survivors. Thought maybe…” His other hand comes up so his knuckles can trail along the edge of the ax as I watch.

“You know what trauma bonding is, right? It wouldn’t be my trauma, but I figured I could pretend for you after everything. When you were all alone and scared and waiting for the cops with me.”

“You won’t trauma bond with me if there’s not enough trauma.

I’d never say it, but the little monster really is my favorite. She’ll probably grow up to be wanted in more than one country, but that’s okay. The nuclear weapon screaming insults at Coyote in front of me is perfect in her own way.

“You and your feral little campers. Did you know one of them growled at my boys?” “They do that,” I whisper,

“Please kill Kayde this week,” I mutter, putting that out into the universe just in case something is listening. “Please, Melody, if you’re going to turn the other girls feral and commit your first murder, please let it be Kayde.”

“We all have our guilty pleasures or things that we want in a relationship.” “We’re not in a relationship.” “Oh, sweetheart. We are in the best kind of relationship.”

“Is your brain doing shitty, neurospicy things today? Because just in case you need to hear it, you’re a good human and your brain is wrong about you.

Fuck, it’s unfair that God let him be so attractive. The lord should be positively ashamed of himself, frankly.

“I’m going to escape while she’s not looking.” “If you do, I’ll just kidnap you to my cabin and tie you down with blankets and soup. You’re killing me with the teeth chattering, baby girl,” he admits, his voice

According to her and the other girls in my cabin, she’d ‘slipped’ and accidentally taken down the boy who hit me with a paddle. With her fist.

“Couldn’t kill you, Summer. Couldn’t that first day and now? When I’ve realized I’ve definitely done something right since you’re made so perfect for me? Would never kill you, Summer⁠—” “You could talk about something other than killing me if you want,”

All I want in life is a guy to do the things my best friend does for me when I’m not feeling well.

Plus, I know for a fact Melody won’t take the loss two years in a row without a fight. Or murder.

“I will sacrifice mosquitos to the forest god daily in hopes you feel like shit,” I promise him between clenched teeth. “And maybe, in ten years or so, he’ll take pity on me and you’ll feel a twinge of regret for something.”

Do I think she’s managed to find and obtain a saw somewhere on the grounds of Camp Crestview? Absolutely not. No way in hell. Do I think if she wanted to, she and the other girls of my cabin could make a saw out of like a rubber band, a leaf, and a crushing desire for bloodlust? Abso-fucking-lutely.

“You’re suspicious of me?” he taunts. “Me?” “Every single time you open your mouth.”

“And you haven’t known me long enough to be in love with me.” “Someone hasn’t done her sociopath research, has she?” Kayde chuckles,

“You know no one would miss her, right?” Kayde asks, closing his eyes hard. “You understand I could make it look like an accident.”

“Kayde, you can’t kill her⁠—” “I can’t?” He leans forward again, some of the irritation melting out of his face. “You sure about that?”

“All mine, for the rest of your life. I don’t really believe in an afterlife, by the way. But if there is one, you’re mine there as well.” “What if we go to separate places in the afterlife?” I ask, scoffing a low laugh. “Last I checked, heaven isn’t for murderers.” “Then I’ll just have to drag you down to hell with me.”

I doubt it’s true that she doesn’t know what’s going on, or why things are weird. She just doesn’t want to get in trouble for doing something slightly problematic on the level of starting the nuclear apocalypse.

“Thanks, Kayde.” “Don’t mention it. Or, actually. Do mention it. At length. I like praise.”

Even though the knife sits heavily at my back, and I’ve definitely never felt this murder-y before. Is this how Kayde feels all the time? With the simmer of anger just under his skin and something like nausea in his stomach? Surely not. That would be rather uncomfortable.

No one has ever tried to kill me before, and in my opinion, I’m handling it pretty well.

“You know that year, I thought maybe I had a crush on you as well. I thought that had to be it, because what else could it mean when I couldn’t get you out of my head?” Kayde would say that’s some form of obsession. I’d say Shawn was dropped on his head at birth.

“Bet you never thought you’d meet someone who wants to murder you for the fun of it, huh Summer?” Well, actually…I glance away from him, still unimpressed and wondering how I can fake it.