Nothing interested me—and this, in the end, is what saved me. I had no interest in anything, no curiosity. All I felt was: I am depressed, I am depressed. And then, this depression generated its own flicker of recovery. I became interested in depression…. I became interested in things again. I began to follow things up. Depression is the hidden non-plot of the whole book, but Dyer can only admit it at the end. It explains everything and does not explain anything at the same time. When I recalled this moment, I still couldn’t read, and so couldn’t leaf through Out of Sheer Rage to look up its
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