Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves

by Alison Wood Brooks

In addition to remembering what we need to discuss, prepping topics also makes us cover more topics, which can bring its own benefits, especially if things are moving too slowly and the participants are losing interest. Prepping topics makes switching topics easier and smoother (less stilted, gap-ridden, and redundant), so people end up switching topics more frequently, and they are more likely to alight on mutually enjoyable ones.

Traffic patterns, your weekend, the baby’s sleep schedule—these are among the topics that often leave us gasping for oxygen or desperately looking for an exit, even when both parties truly want to connect.

If the youngest child never speaks at family meals, he may never learn to speak in groups,

Airtime determines what the group learns, believes, and decides, and it also reflects who the group is and what it cares about—what

psychological safety—the belief that you won’t be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes.