Out on a Limb

by Hannah Bonam-Young

I don’t try to force my body to be something or deprive it of pleasantness. It just is. And I like it, enough, as is.

Plus, I think some people have loneliness built in. It often seemed that there was not enough attention in the world that could fill that void inside her.

“This is who you are, baby. And it’s beautiful.”

I place my smaller hand in his and don’t miss how his eyes crease on either side when he wraps his full hand around it, covering it completely.

“I’d do it all over again to be at that party,” he says. “To meet you. To get Gus.”

Halfway through my shower, music starts playing again, and I fall against the tile, letting the water wash over me as I imagine Bo’s body around me in here too. And, I realize, I’m completely fucked.

“Love is stupid, Win,” she says softly. “So what are you going to do about it?”

Bo loves me for free. No expectations. No demands. Not a single ounce of selfishness.

We love you, they whispered to her over and over and over again. Thank you, her father added, kissing her mother. I did it, her mother whispered, kissing him back.

And as August turns the corner, leaning against the wall as she shakes her head at just how ridiculous her parents and siblings are behaving, I thank her, silently, for all she’s given me.