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December 18, 2024 - January 19, 2025
please note that too many rips, even if they are small, without repairs will cause us to lose more and more confidence in someone. When forgetfulness becomes a pattern with no positive progress, the broken trust will start to feel like an integrity issue. That person is no longer just forgetful. They are now becoming a person who doesn’t keep their word.
Sin ripped the relationship between God and humanity. If it takes nine miles to get in and nine miles to get out, then in the same sense, this required God to become man in the incarnation to repair the rip of sin. It was mankind who caused the rip. So, as a result, God, through Jesus, was the only one who could repair the relationship and provide a way for deeper intimacy with Him (2 Corinthians 5:18–19).
trust takes time plus believable behavior, along with consistency, so a solid track record can be established.
The betrayal trauma they caused you will likely be the result of undealt-with trauma inside them. Again, my counselor wisely taught me, “What people don’t work out, they act out.”
We are responsible to get the help we need so we don’t continue to turn our past hurts into unleashed hurt on the people we do life with. And the person who betrayed you is responsible to get the help they need too.
Anyone can say what you want to hear when rebuilding trust. But the truth comes out in their actions. If their actions are in alignment with the fruit of the Spirit, then most likely Jesus is guiding them. And if Jesus is guiding them, you can trust the good work of Jesus is occurring in them.
Trust requires both parties to be willing to work through the process of rebuilding.
Distrust in situations of continued broken trust is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of great strength.
How would your outlook on life and relationships change if you were to apply the steps on pages 66–67 each time there’s a rip or rupture that needs a repair?
It would certainly be easier to determine who is a true friend/believer. I would feel more at peace following these guidelines and seeing who is genuine.
if what I’m saying on the outside doesn’t match what I’m feeling on the inside, then I may be trying to control the situation and the narrative around it. Or at least give the illusion that I’m in control.
the goal is to live a life of congruity where our life lines up with God’s Word.
Does the slowness of the process of trusting someone feel difficult for you? Why do you think that is?
I think it can because I don't enjoy not knowing if something or someone is a good decision or not.
“The bigger the betrayal, the longer the repair will take.” How does this statement sit with you, and have you found it to be true in your life?
I don't like it but it's true. I've seen it in my own life.
What my mind can’t understand, my heart tends to distrust. When I can’t understand what God is allowing or I feel confident He will do something and it doesn’t happen, doubts can easily turn into distrust.
I know the goodness of God means God is good even when everything else isn’t. But I have such a hard time with this. Especially when there’s a lot of pain in the waiting for God’s goodness to be revealed.
I can relate.
Proverbs 3:5–6 instructs, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” I know these verses. I want to live these verses. Not just quote this but truly live this. But in order to do that, I must acknowledge God’s version of making my path straight most likely will not line up with what I expect. He may have a completely different definition of straight.
When life pretty much looks like I expect it to and feels relatively good, I am tempted to get satisfied with where I am and not continue to grow deeper and deeper in my faith. Or if I’m just letting others sprinkle some biblical wisdom on me through their sermons and podcasts but I’m not digging into God’s Word and going deeper in my application, then my roots will be shallow.
The more uncertain I am about what God is or is not doing right now, the more resistant I am to trusting Him with my future.
when it’s a situation where a whole lot of fear and emotion are involved and nothing seems to be working out, I want a more immediate relief to my pain and more visible evidence that this is all going to work out in a way that seems good to me. I don’t want to imagine a future where I lose another relationship or another thing that helps me feel secure.
Oof, yup.
the first step toward learning how to surrender to God’s version of good and trust Him with all of our hearts is acknowledging our struggle.
Faith will always make us anxious and unsure unless we are confident in the goodness of God. If we stand firm on His goodness and know everything He allows is somehow flowing from that goodness, then we will have a lot less fear in trusting Him.
Faith is our assurance about what we do not see.
What if I wrote down each thought of distrust so they don’t stay all jumbled up inside me as a big feeling of fear and anxiety?
What if expressing my true feelings to God is a beautiful act of trusting God?
If I can trust God with doubts about Him, then I can trust Him with anything.
For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,’ says the LORD. ‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.’” (Isaiah 55:8–9 NKJV)
When we feel pain, we can become hyperfocused on fixing the source of the pain. We can think the only good move God could make is to take away the pain. And if that’s all we are looking for, then we will become more frustrated and distrustful of God.
Ultimately, trusting God is holding loosely the parts of my life I want to hold most tightly. I want to trust Him, until I don’t. And that tension isn’t one to solve. It’s one to wrestle with well in this temporary place called “now.”
if we bow our heads in humility, we are in the right position for God to lift us up and point us in the direction He knows is best.
Suffering is our reminder to stay closer to God than ever before and not to resist His leading.
Identify some of the reasons you might resist trusting God enough to surrender the outcomes and your plans for how your life will go.
I'd say simply my own stubbornness and need to control circumstances.
Be honest with yourself: Do you see God as trustworthy? How has this chapter helped you better process this?
Ultimately I do see him as trustworthy. He's proven Himself over and over again, and this chapter reminded me of that.
What did the story of the ants and the tree reveal to you about “ants” in your own life?
It's easy for me to allow the ants in instead of fortifying myself with the Word of God.
List some of the simple pleasures that serve as evidence of God’s goodness to you. Which ones are your favorites?
1. Blessing me with a man who loves and treats me well.
2. Hot cups of coffee in the mornings.
3. Turning my seasonal job into a permanent one.
4. Time to journal and write.
5. My warm bed on a cold night.
