I Want to Trust You, but I Don't: Moving Forward When You’re Skeptical of Others, Afraid of What God Will Allow, and Doubtful of Your Own Discernment

by Lysa TerKeurst

Red Flag #11: Inflated Sense of Self Someone with an inflated sense of self thinks they are so good or important that you could not manage without them. They will hold you hostage to their way of doing things because they believe they know best. In conversation with you, they strategically make sure you know you’re lucky to have them because you’re incapable of doing things as well as they do or that they are the best thing that’s ever happened to you. You’re the problem, and they’re the ultimate solution. Examples: Your coworker refuses to hand off part of a work assignment your boss would like for you to complete, because they don’t think you can do it as well as they can. The worship leader believes they are so uniquely gifted to play guitar and sing at church that they will not release control of their position and let someone else serve in this way too. They sometimes treat you like a child who needs to be bossed around and put in their place. They mistreat you and tell you that you need them because “no one else will ever love you like I do.” They believe they are the better parent and refuse to leave the children in your care until you agree to parent exactly like they do.