I Want to Trust You, but I Don't: Moving Forward When You’re Skeptical of Others, Afraid of What God Will Allow, and Doubtful of Your Own Discernment

by Lysa TerKeurst

I want to trust you, but I don’t. I want to believe you have my best interests in mind, just like I do for you. I want to believe you don’t have a hidden agenda, motivations that are completely self-serving, or something going on behind the scenes I would be crushed by if I knew about it. I want to believe the good feelings I have when you are being kind to me will still feel good a month from now. A year from now. I want to believe you’ve told me the whole story and that I won’t make discoveries later that make me cry and feel the brutal weight of regret. I want to believe I won’t lie in bed sobbing over the red flags I missed or chose not to pay attention to. I want to believe you aren’t writing a narrative about me and our relationship that doesn’t line up with the facts. I want to believe you have the ability to know right from wrong. I want to believe you are wise. I want to believe I can count on you. I want to believe you won’t hurt me. I want to believe you won’t talk behind my back. I want to believe that you are honest, good, fair, godly, kind, and accountable to do the right things and think the right things. I want to believe your love is real and your care is genuine. I want to believe my relationship with you will be calm and not chaotic. I want to believe I’ll feel wise and not stupid for trusting you. I want to believe I’ll forever love to tell the story of how we met and how long we’ve been this close. I want to believe I’m safe with you and that you reall...