I Want to Trust You, but I Don't: Moving Forward When You’re Skeptical of Others, Afraid of What God Will Allow, and Doubtful of Your Own Discernment

by Lysa TerKeurst

But just because our feelings shouldn’t dictate what we do doesn’t mean we should ignore them completely. A warning light on your car dashboard doesn’t tell you how to fix the issue at hand, but it serves a purpose in letting you know something needs to be looked into further . . . sooner rather than later. Just like physical pain is our body’s way of informing us that something needs to be tended to, emotional pain operates the same way. If I feel afraid, it’s my body’s way of telling me to pause, think, consider, investigate, ask questions, and process what’s really going on. If you don’t feel safe with someone, you can’t possibly trust them. Feeling safe is a crucial part of the process of risk evaluation. In order to trust, I must have the knowledge and the feeling that I am safe. So, ask yourself these questions: What is making me feel unsafe right now? How can I further investigate what my feelings might be trying to warn me about? Is there a reason I don’t want to ask questions of the person causing me concern? Who can help me process this and help me decipher how serious this warning is? What do I need to hit the Pause button on until this is more settled?